From Dawn to Dusk
by Eule Vix
Summary: The burn of gunpowder and iron tinge of blood mingled in Cecil's nose. His fingers gripped the Tommy gun against his chest as he steadied himself for another go. He had only wanted to grab a slice from Big Rico's, to chew a bit on the soured crust of the pizza and think to better times.
1. Chapter 1: Woken from Complacency

From Dawn to Dusk

By Eule Vix

Disclaimer: I do not own Welcome to NightVale, I do not make any money off this story.

The burn of gunpowder and iron tinge of blood mingled in Cecil's nose. His fingers gripped the Tommy gun against his chest as he steadied himself for another go. He had only wanted to grab a slice from Big Rico's, to chew a bit on the soured crust of the pizza and think to better times. He did not expect to suddenly be jumped by three men armed with handguns, weighed down with bullets to spare, shooting down both of his bodyguards and then pinning him in a dank alley. He needed to get out of there before _he_ showed his face on this urban battlefield. Cecil had been able to avoid _him_ for a year, and he wanted to keep it that way until this whole territory war with _him_ was over.

He heard a break in the firing of bullets and swiftly moved from around the corner, firing back. With just a few shots he was able to take out one of his assailants. Cecil noticed the clothing of the one currently lay in the street in his own blood as one of _his_ personal body guards, no mistaking it. Cecil ducked back into the alley and gritted his teeth as he tried to steady his breathing under the new fire of bullets. He hated killing any of _his_ men, just as much as he hated it when any of his own died by _his_ comrades hands. Cecil looked back down at the two bodies slouched against the dusty brick wall, the blood long pooled and starting to dribble its way towards the street as though it was some morbid flower born from the hatred of men. Cecil could feel a headache creeping from the back of his skull as he kept his jaws tightly clenched. 'Eye for an eye.' He thought as he again flung himself out from his hiding place once again and shot back.

Cecil had managed to remain bullet free even after a few more swivels around the corner; however he knew he luck couldn't run well for much longer. What he didn't know was that a door at the end of the alley opened and what he didn't hear was a pair of shoes carefully walking up to him. What Cecil did hear over the rapid barrage of bullets and occasional sound of metal striking brick was the cock of a gun and the feel of a cold barrel pressed against the temple of his head. Cecil went completely stiff, he had seen too many pictures in the news, to many places where his own men had been shot point blank, to not know what was about to happen. Cecil took a sharp breath in and could smell the light tang of lavender chewing gum dancing in the air.

"Detener el fuego!" Cecil would recognize that voice even if he died, was reincarnated, remembered nothing, and he would still shiver from the vibrations of that caramel voice. He wanted nothing more than to relax in the candied tones of the man he knew was behind him, but the gun was a fierce deterrent. The rattling of the guns stopped and the alley fell to a strangled silence. The two stood in the ally, Cecil's mind raced wondering if he should press his luck, force him to give a quick death or try to see if he could still get out of this alive. With the weight of what the year had brought Cecil doubted his grave would be much less than the asphalt under his shoes. Cecil side glance towards the man holding the gun to his head stood perfectly still, with perfect precision. He never did anything less.

"Finally here to crash the party _doll_?" Cecil's temple began to throb as the gun was shoved harder against his head. He hissed slightly under the uncomfortable pain.

"Give me your gun Cecil." He felt as though someone had dribbled the sweetest honey into his mouth when he said his name. A Warmth spread and wound it's self-up tightly in the center of Cecil's chest. It didn't matter how long they had been apart, the feelings he harbored for the Spanish man he knew would never leave him. Not all the money, food, or liquor in the world could buy, satisfy, or wash away the imprint on him. Cecil was positive that his time with him was long gone, without so much as a reason why. Even if there was a chance to rekindle their intimacy, he felt it would be like a drug. Wonderful and beautiful the first time, but afterwards you would never be able to reach that same high no matter what you did.

"Why, give you my baby? Even for a perfect sheik like yourself I don't think I could oblige." Cecil swore if he pressed that gun any harder into his head it would either push him over or tear right though his head. Cecil began to idly wonder why he still wasn't dead yet.

"Give. Me. The. Gun." Reluctantly Cecil handed his beloved Tommy over to him.

"Dry up Carlos." Cecil heard the slight clinking of his gun as it was leaned up against the wall before he felt a warm and strong hand grab his arm and throw him further into the alley way. Cecil swore and counted himself lucky to not have tripped over the bodies splayed on the ground.

"Get going."

"Tsk." Cecil hated being manhandled, but decided Carlos's hand gun was a lot mightier than the shiv he currently had in his breast pocket, so he walked forward down the alley. Cecil couldn't help but let a scowl come to his normal, now days only slightly, cheery face. He knew if it was anyone else he would have his brains placed all along the wall as a piece of crude art by now, no remorse, sympathy, or hesitation. He couldn't shake it, the question kept popping up in his mind. He had been so sure after Carlos's abrupt departure, after he started to invade Cecil's territory, after the first blood had been drawn by his men, that Carlos hated Cecil. It was the only explanation.

"Stop." Cecil did and noticed the metal door he was just barely a head of. Carlos rapped on the door in what seemed to be some form of code and after a moment the door opened.

"Turn around and get inside." Cecil noticed the distance in Carlos's voice now, almost as if he was putting all he had into just being flat toned. He turned around to finally get a full view of Carlos. The light coming from inside the building reflected off of his glasses and obscured his face half in shadow. He wore a black suit with a simple white shirt underneath, Cecil quietly snickered at the thought of they both contrasted against each other. Carlos, his perfect straight-man suit and himself with a suit that could only be the bizarre taste that was the essence of who he was; a deep purple pinstriped suit with blue velvet pants. He decided not to linger too long on his thoughts and moved inside. Once he was completely through the door he almost visibly shook at the sudden bark from Carlos behind him.

"Registrarlo. Tome cualquier cosa que podria ser un arma."Cecil bit his bottom lip. It didn't matter that Carlos was barking out orders of some sort, he just loved to hear Carlos's voice in his native tongue. He could remember clearly when Carlos would speak sweet nothings into his ears and felt as though all the romance in the universe seeped out and dripped from each word. Given now, this was not the time nor the place for Cecil to be reminiscing, but Carlos was now to more than a foot away from him and as much as he wanted to he could not stop the memories. He kept his composure, the best he could, and watched as the bouncer who guarded the door started to pad him down. He realized that for now he was probably safe, and whatever Carlos had ordered was non-threatening, at least he believed so. The bouncer found the shiv in his coat, as well as a knife he had stuck in his boot, for emergencies. He had to hand it to Carlos, his men were very careful in finding everything.

"Muestrele a mi oficina." Carlos paused and Cecil swore he could feel Carlos's dark brown eyes lay sight to his back. "Follow him." The front of the gun was gently pushed into his back, urging Cecil forward. He started to follow the guard and took in the details of the place. He was currently in a corridor, red carpet beneath his feet and the light noise of music and clink of drinks off in the distance. It had to be one of Carlo's speakeasy's he helped run for whatever mob he worked closely with. He found himself saddened as he was directed though another hallway that lead away from the buzz of the bar. The threat of still being shot started to grow again as they became further and further away from other people. Soon, he found himself being trudged down a series of stairs, all the lively noises faded to only a static buzz. The stairway ended into another, smaller, hall at the end of which was a door with no engravings or markings stood silently. The bouncer stopped in front of the door when Carlos spoke again.

"Gracias. Vuelva a su no estoy con vida al final de esta reunion…se trabaja para el senor Palmer. Entendido?" Cecil perked up at the use of his last name suddenly interjected in. Cecil felt like squirming, unsure and nervous of what was said.

"Entendido senor Carlos…" He just hoped it was something good.

"Get inside Cecil." Inside he found himself in what could only be observed as Carlos's person office. 'Of course I just had to have a shootout right in front of his new main headquarters.' Cecil grimaced. Cecil stood in place taking in a quick glance around the office. There had to be at least five bookshelves completely brimming with wore and well read books. He caught a few of the titles, all of them about various facets of science. Chemistry, Biology, Semiology, hell Cecil even saw a few psychology books from what he could tell. Wedged between two of the larger bookcases was a desk completely covered with notes and a few stands with test tubes safely tucked in their holders. On the opposite wall there were three thin desks lined up next to each other, all covered in different shaped flasks some filled with a variety of liquid colors. These desks too were covered in notes. The smells of rubbing alcohol, menthol, and various other unknown chemicals assaulted Cecil's noise. It dawned on Cecil why Carlos loved those odd sticks of lavender gum.

"Take a seat." Cecil looked to Carlos who was standing by the now closed and locked door, about five feet from Cecil. He motioned with his gun to a chair that was tucked next to a final desk that was the only surface not plastered with notes. It looked more to be a piece for ceremony, a slice of tradition to make the room seem like an office then a makeshift lab.

"Carlos, perfect Carlos." Cecil tried to put as much poison into the words he rolled off his tongue. " Aren't you being quite the wet blanket. Out there sounds like a lively party, might be some nice ladies out there. In here well, in here is just you and me, and quite frankly I find that to be a horrible struggle buggy for me." Carlos sneered angrily and Cecil couldn't help but feel happy the man finally showed some form of emotion.

"Shut your yap Cecil, and sit." Carlos said thought gritted teeth. Cecil shrugged and brushed off Carlos's anger as though the man was being petty, anything to make him madder. Cecil sat in the cushioned seat a strong sent of coffee wafted up from the decompressed cushions. Cecil felt a tug on the corners of his mouth as the smell brought him to happier times, late nights he would spend talking with Carlos. For a while Cecil sat there, hands folded in his lap. Carlos still had his gun trained on him, no emotion in his face and none that Cecil could see in his eyes. He remembered when those gorgeous brown eyes shone like amber in the right light. Eventually Carlos lowered his gun, and set it on a desk farthest from Cecil.

Carlos leaned with both hands against the desk, his back to Cecil. The wooden legs of the over used desk squealed slightly under the pressure. Cecil felt safe to let a sad smile surface now that he could see Carlos in full view. The man looked tired, too many late nights, too many meals of coffee. His hair reminded Cecil of when he first fell for the man, before he had cut it short. The dark rich curls just ghosting his shoulders at its longest length. The suit Cecil found unbefitting him; though Carlos delved in speakeasies and before with his Family, Cecil knew it was only to be able to get funding to fuel his own research. To gaze upon Carlos without his typical lab coat had always been a rare site. 'But,' Cecil thought 'that was a year ago and a lot has…changed.' Cecil's thoughts were disrupted when he noticed a shift in his vision. Carlos had turned around to face him. Cecil felt a bit taken back by the anger that was on Carlos's face, it was gone quickly but the emotion was not missed. Carlos spoke with careful words.

"Cecil. You remember the last time we saw each other?" Cecil narrowed his eyes dangerously. 'How could I forget Carlos.' He thought. 'How could I forget the fire beneath my skin that followed where ever your fingers touched, or the long nights after where my body ached to just have yours beside me. How could I forget each breath you stole from me when you placed your lips on mine, or the fevered dreams of passion I would wake from so many, many nights after. Your smell, your touch, your brilliant mind, dear Carlos I could never forget.' He wanted to say it all, and to go further on, about how since Carlos left he couldn't find the will to eat much anymore. That he could still barely sleep for more than a few hours. How every month or so he would stumble upon some trinket of their time together and it would being Cecil to wracking sobs. How eventually his subordinates noticed and when they thought he could not hear them, they would speak of how the boss no longer had the fire in his eyes and the will in his heart. He couldn't tell him this, not when it was Carlos who left with not a word as to why, no explanation, just a simple note with the simple words sprawled "It's over." He wouldn't, couldn't, give him the satisfaction knowing what he did to him by his just leaving.

"Its been so long, you know, a year does crazy things to the memory." Cecil watched as Carlos balled his fists in anger. "You know how often, how easily, I can forget." A knot in Cecil stomach suddenly appeared and wrenched itself, twisting painfully. He hated playing stupid, especially to Carlos. It was Cecil's last way of fighting back. He figured in the end he would end up ridden with bullets anyway, so he might as well make his death full with passion and anger. Maybe that way it'd end up being quicker then what Carlos might be planning.

"Last June, it was the 25th. We had…" Carlos talked through gritted teeth and paused for a moment, moved his eyes to the floor and returned to speaking monotone and unemotional. "shared, a brief intimacy." Cecil didn't want to hear him continue. Another paused graced them, allowing Cecil to notice his had wrung his hands around each other, his knuckles turning white. Carlos interjected into the heavy silence, his voice had a deep sadness toned beneath its surface, barely detected by Cecil.

"I suppose it's…irrelevant then." He ran a hand through his hair, it had been styled the best he could, but even then the unruly mock or black and grey stuck out in various places. "More importantly, the night before that. Tell me Cecil, who was she?"

"Wh-what?" He was at a loss.

"The.." Carlos kept his gaze to the ground. "The girl you were with that night. A dame, your…_crush_, who was she?" His voice was even, but Cecil could feel the underlying raw angered demands long held back that seethed under it. Despite this, Cecil felt like Carlos had just told him seriously that his body was made entirely of kittens. There was never any girl, or girls for that matter, ever; especially a girl that he would have called his _crush_. There were never any girls after they…separated, nor did any new boys meet Cecil's fancy. Cecil was completely aghast.

"The day before the 25th Cecil. The night you went to that show. I will ask only one more time Cecil." Carlos gently picked up the gun he laid on the table. "Who. Was. She." Cecil's mind couldn't catch up. There had been no one else with him that night, he had enjoyed a show, something to relax. While he was there he ran into someone close to him, but... Cecil's eyes went wide as he realized who Carlos was asking about. 'Is he serious?' Cecil felt his anger begin to rise. He suddenly stood up, not caring that the gun was coked and ready to fire.

"Are you some kind of a sap Carlos? You, the smartest person I have ever the chance to meet, acting like this? Is nobody home anymore in that brain of yours?" Anger seethed beneath his skin like hot needles. How could Carlos assume that he was having some fling. How could he start a war between them, killing men from each of their sides, all for this. Carlos may be brilliant, a scientist, and expert shot. When it came to matters of his own heart he was a damned fish to it. Cecil dug his nails into his palm. "I am leaving Carlos, whether it be your gun or a bum's rush out! This conversation is over, this war is over, and we are _long_ over!" Cecil stomped towards the door expecting a shot to ring out in the room. Instead he was suddenly met with the bodily force of Carlos.

Cecil could feel the itch to fight twitching in his arms before Carlos lunged at him, now he had an excuse. The two tumbled, Cecil desperately trying to throw a punch, Carlos doing what he could to grasp Cecil's wrists. Carlos ended up being victorious, being stronger the Cecil, and had pinned both of his wrists above his head. With the adrenaline pumping in his system, the furry in his heart, Cecil couldn't refrain anymore. He wanted Carlos to figure out his own damned mistake but his mouth moved faster than his brain could stop.

"You jealous pill! To get up and leave as you did! Not a word or breath of what was happening in that thick skulled head! A year Carlos that has been wasted, lives that were wasted, all for your jealousy!" Cecil couldn't read the expression on Carlos's face, but he hoped that there was at least a sliver of pain. He scowled and wished that just his glare could give him the same pain he held now in him. "You damned idiot, she was my sister! You're a fool's fool Carlos!"

"Your…sister?"

"_Yes_ dear Carlos, king of **saps**. That night, by chance, I ran into my sister. Is it so hard to believe I have blood family?" He hissed his words, filled with fury, at Carlos. "Now if you please," Cecil attempted to shift out of Carlos's grasp. "I must be going." Carlos tightened his grip, it didn't hurt but did enough to keep the man beneath him where he was. Cecil could feel himself shaking from the anger rattling in his bones.

"Cecil," Carlos leaned a bit closer to Cecil, now only a few inches from Cecil's face. "I can't let you go yet."

"Oh?" his voice slick with sarcasm. "I believe your right, I have yet to be ridden with bullet holes haven't I?" He could feel nails start to dig into his wrists.

"I don't want any holes in you if I can help it."

"Then _don't_."

"Listen Cecil, I need you to listen carefully to-"

"That's too bad for I won't Carlos."

"Cecil, you can't ignore what's going on forever." Carlos's voice broke it's long held calm and started to flare in annoyance.

"If it's anything to do with you, I will continue to do as I wish!"

"Just hear me-"

"I **won't **Carlos."

"Cecil please just –"

"No!" Cecil found himself now yelling at Carlos, all the rage that he had sitting quietly in him burst out. "There is nothing that you could say that would fix this Carlos, there is no reasonable explanation for what you did! Not even time and a hundred bottles of hooch could fix it!" Tears started to threaten Cecil at the corners of his eyes. He squeezed his eyes closed, reminded himself that he was a man and men don't cry. That he should have stifled his lust in the first place and should never have partaken in any unclean actions with Carlos. If he had he might have saved himself such heart ache. Cecil spoke again, his voice much quieter as he struggled to maintain him own feelings in check, his eyes open, trained on Carlos's face.

"I should have never let you dirty me." He watched Carlos's face fall from one of anger, teeth gritted against each other, to a look of shock and pain that strangled Cecil's heart. The moment was belief, and Carlos's face was once again unreadable and plain. 'Good.' He relished in that Carlos could at least hurt from what he did, however Cecil wondered why his chest hurt more now.

"Fine." He spat he words at Cecil and released his wrists. The weight of Carlos's body lifted off Cecil but the pain in him remained. After a moment, regaining himself, trying to lessen the pain, he sat up. He rubbed his wrists just as he heard the clink of a gun being picked up. He looked up and saw Carlos again pointing the gun at him.

"Don't say anything Cecil and just listen." Cecil scowled again.

"And if-" Carlos fired the gun, the bullet whizzed by close to Cecil's head. His eyes went large but he remained unmoved.

"**Pipe down Cecil.**" Carlos watched Cecil for a moment, brow furled as though pondering his next move. The small sounds of moving metal echoed in the quite room as Carlos flipped the gun easily in his hand. Cecil's face scrunched in confusion as he watched Carlos walk closer to him, now holding the barrel of the gun, the handle towards Cecil.

"I'll give you the gun Cecil, I only ask that you **please** hear me out. Even if you continue to hate me, you might still be able to help me save your sister." Cecil felt like closing the small distance still between then, snatching the gun, and shooting him dead.

"What did you **do** with my sister Carlos?!"

"I didn't do anything, but she's in danger. For the same reasons to why you're here, and why your still alive." Carlos took another step, holding the gun within Cecil's reach. "I beg you Cecil…" Cecil could feel every muscle in his body twitch. He needed to grab that gun, he needed to shoot Carlos dead where he stood, riddle him with bullets of rage and regret till all the emotions in Cecil ran dry. With as much drive as he felt, he couldn't bring himself to follow through.

"As long as you're on the level with me Carlos. I won't promise how much I will walk away with, but…I will listen." He reached up carefully and grasped the wooden handle of the small handgun. He carefully used a book case nearby to heave himself up to a standing position, holding the gun steadily pointed at Carlos. Once he finished standing he watched Carlos slowly make his way towards the desk, quickly stopping to pick his glasses back up. He wasn't sure why he hadn't killed him yet. He had the gun, he just needed to cock it and pull the trigger. He wondered what was stopping him.

"I'll be a quick as possible." Carlos crossed his arms, his eyes fixed on Cecil's. "That night, when you were at your show, a representative from the Desert Bluff's family approached me."

"Don't razz me Carlos."

"You wanted the truth, that's what it is. The long time enemy of the Night Vale family, _your_ family Cecil, has started to make a move." Cecil started to grit his teeth, his grip on the gun tightened. "They forced my hand Cecil, or how they put it, gave 'An offer you simply can't refuse'." Carlos went ridged at his own words, suddenly sucked into whatever memories that plagued the man.

"What was it Carlos? Money, guns, science equipment…sex?"

"They destroyed…my lab Cecil…so much work…I was so close to a break though…So much research lost in a single night…" Carlos's hands clenched tightly at his for arms, the clothing taunt and wrinkled, nails digging thought the fabric in an attempt to claw at the flesh beneath. Cecil's heart sank, Carlos's research was one of the many things that attracted Cecil to him. The fact that against all odd he still did his best for the world around him even if he left a small trail of dirty money with a light streak of blood mixed in. He wanted to console the man, they had basically destroyed the physical part of Carlos's soul. He held himself back, it just wasn't something he should do, and forgiveness didn't come easy. Carlos's hands loosened after the long pause between them, recomposed himself, and then started again.

"I…They didn't know of our previous arrangement, but they did require I cut off all ties with any people of the NightVale Family. Over the next month they gave me new men, guns, money, anything I needed and told me my goal was to…to kill you Cecil. They need you dead to be able to make their next move. Over months I've taken my time to…" Carlos's face soured with the words he spoke. "try to take over your area, I managed to find out they plan to replace you with a mole of their own upon your death, before your family would figure out your dead. I couldn't get more than that, the how or why's, all of rest was inconclusive information. But I do have a plan." Cecil was quite floored, it made sense and he wanted to believe Carlos. He just needed to listen to him a bit more, ask some questions, and maybe he would be able to believe him.

"Do you know where they got this double?"

"That information was some of the inconclusive information. First the gathered info said he was born to the Desert Bluff directly. A week later new information said he was born to NightVale. Both resources had good backings for the information, but it was entirely contradictive." He moved his arms to his side in a more relaxed pose, as he pondered the information as he spoke. "The last I heard from my source of this info was a month ago, he ended up six feet under. They didn't find out he was one of mine, but they are aware of information leaks now. However-"

"Carlos." Carlos suddenly looked up at Cecil, realizing he had gone into a monologue. "Tell me this, what is your plan. Briefly, please." Carlos nodded, and cleared his throat.

"For my plan to work, I would need you to be dead Cecil. Not in-" Cecil's voice changed into verbal venom.

"If your plan was for me to be dead, I think you've quite messed up your plan by now haven't you?" His chest hurt, he was pissed at Carlos yes. But it hurt to hear him say he wanted him dead. Sure, he had expected to already be dead, long gone to the gun in his own hand but it didn't stop the pain from washing over him. "What if I killed you now where you stand?" Cecil cocked the gun in his hand, the little hammer clicking easily into place, ready to fire.

"There is no one else I'd rather die by." Carlos said it completely matter of fact, like he knew it might have come to that, he had accepted he might be shot by him. Cecil grimaced, and was shocked. He could tell there was a deeper, much deeper meaning to the words then what Carlos let on. Carlos took his silence as a way to continue.

"As I was about to say, I need you dead, but _not_ in a way that you would really be dead. I…did my best to acquire a body. They look like you, any pieces that could identify them as anyone but you has been removed. To the best of my men's abilities and my specifications…" Carlos shook slightly. "Just..please don't ask why or how. They are memories I would like to drink and forget." Carlos breathed a sigh before speaking again.

"You..don't have to help me directly. I just wanted to make sure that you would be safe. With this you can be free Cecil, away from the possibility of death and bloodshed..." Carlos moved his hands to grip the desk and leaned against it before saying his next words carefully. "Free to find someone you cherish and love, without fear of them being in danger."

Cecil was at an utter loss. The words Carlos had said, seemed so true, and he wanted them to be true. The Bluffs family had always been at their throats, always trying to find some way in to bring the family to it's knees. If what Carlos said was to be believed his whole family, his sister, everyone in NightVale was in danger. Then the matter of the tender words Carlos has said, about _love. _The regret he could hear in the man's voice, he wanted to let his fury melt away, let the hatred of a year disappear without a second thought. He couldn't bring himself to let it happen, not yet. Not after he had just finish telling himself he would never forgive the Hispanic man. He did find that, beyond it all, he had one last question.

"Is there anything else of importance?" Carlos slinked back a bit, pushing into the desk, doing what he could to make himself smaller.

"There is…a personal matter I wish to speak of. If you…don't mind listening again." If Carlos had been pleading before, his voice _begged_ now for Cecil to listen. If what Carlos said was true, he had lost so much, if he hadn't just plain lost everything. Cecil hated how he had been left alone, yes. He didn't know what he meant to Carlos, but he still felt that for now it would be ok to show him a little sympathy. Cecil nodded.

He watched Carlos take a deep breath, his face becoming flush. Carlos opened his mouth but not a sound procured from his vocals. He stood there mouthing words he seemed at a loss for. After a moment of fumbled sounds and noiseless words Carlos brought a hand to his face and the other to his elbow and sighed.

"Cecil," he finally breathed. "In this world there are thousands of people, and for each person during the course of their lives they will experience many things. One facet of this is their emotions, anger, sadness, pride, happiness,…love." Carlos seemed to choke on the last word, but recovered the best he could as he moved his arms back to his sides, resting his palms on the table.

"F-for everyone these emotions can be triggered by a multitude of reasons and events. Sometimes it's because of another person or that person's own emotions, or their beliefs. Sometimes its things they can not control. Their hair, gender, or skin color just to name a few." His voice dropped low, a sadness unhidden laced within the fine workings of his voice, his eyes focused on his feet.

"Despite the fact that these constants can't be changed or helped, they can invoke feelings in others. These feelings could be good, happiness and care, or more spiteful feelings such as anger and fear. Sometimes these emotions can be so strong that they can lead the person to do things that they would normally refrain from, such as the willingness to kill." He lifted his gaze to meet Cecil's, Cecil could feel his breath hitch.

"My point is…regardless of what I have done or achieved my race has always been something that stopped possible prospects, and on other occasions, threatened my life." Carlos absently ran a hand through his hair, Cecil couldn't help but let his eyes follow it as he quietly listened. "I did what I needed to, so that I could work on the research I felt was needed. But…" In this long pause something invisible shifted from within Carlos, and Cecil could feel it. He felt the skin on the back of his neck begin to tingle, it feel like needles lightly grazing his skin. He didn't know if he was nervous, or excited, or if he wanted to run. His gut twisted as some deeply rooted instinct within him tried to tell him what was coming next, but his head felt scrambled by Carlos's words. All he could do, for whatever it meant to Carlos, was listen.

"I had a lot of time to think this past year…" His words came slow and cautious. "I had lost so much that was important to me. In it, I came to know what was truly important. What needed to be cared for and cherished. This past year let me wonder upon all these things, about myself and about others. I…I came to a conclusion that if the variables in the equation of our lives are changed, yet the outcome remains the same…then…then why should the change of the variables be feared? If the outcome is the same then…why be afraid just because it is a different fact about yourself? I…" Cecil watched as Carlos swallowed hard, grasping the desk in a death grip in attempt to steady his shaking knees.

"I _love_ you, Cecil." Cecil felt ever fiber that made what was his body freeze, the wind in his gut escaped him and he could feel his body burn with a need for air. Carlos had done what he would never dare to even _think_, the fear of what others would think and what his family would _do_. Yet, here he was, somehow able to speak those words and made it seem _so_ easy.

"I always lived in the knowing that my life was always in threat, for reasons sometimes beyond my control. There are people who are afraid of change, of things that within their own world is alien and not kin to them; and thus to them, must perish." Carlos took a staggered breath. "Regardless of the variable the outcome is still the same." He spoke it almost as a mantra rather than a continuation of his thoughts.

"So, with these facts understood, why should I be scared to accept that I care deeply for you Cecil. Despite that you're a man, despite that I could be killed for loving you," Carlos's knuckled had turned white under his fast held hands on the desk. "I don't care what the world would do to me, I don't care that you…gave me an icy mitt. I-you needed to know. Before we went any further with this plan Cecil."

Cecil became frantic, his chest welled in a sharp pain that made him want to drop to his knees. He had said such horrible and wrong words to Carlos. His own heart knew it and though he wanted to tell Carlos he was wrong that he didn't reject him all he could do was remaining standing, gun in hand, frozen like some store mannequin. There was also the possibility that Carlos's own men had heard him, if somehow word got out to _any_ Mob Family member, they would both be shot with no hesitation. Sure some homosexual men had started to be able to be more open, even if it's only walking together. But the Mob was different, there were _rules_ you could not just break on some sexualized whim.

How could he say what he did, how could he _respond_ knowing all the risks, justifying it with some emotional equation. Cecil could feel the silence in the room as though it was water threatening to drown him. He shifted his thoughts, he would never be able to answer Carlos, the threat for him was too big, the trust they had too broken right now. He instead settled for another topic, another idea, anything that has nothing to do with Carlos and his affections for him. His mind latched onto the need to get proof of Carlos's intent, that he wasn't just lying thought his perfect teeth. The first thought was of Carlos pushing himself onto him, proving his passion with a kiss; he shoved the idea quickly from his thoughts and tried to think of something else. He could feel his breathing starting to come back to him, as he focuses on anything but Carlos. He gazed at the beakers and test tubes of the room, the colors that sat inside them untouched and beautiful. Cecil suddenly knew what he could say.

"Your lab," Carlos's head snapped up to look at Cecil, looking confused and bewildered. "I want you to take me there." The confusion fell from his face and soon was replaced with rapt fear and unfocused eyes. Cecil felt a jut of pain in his heart but dismissed it. "I need to know what you say is truth, if I'm going to go along with your plan." After inhaling deeply, gathering himself, Carlos released his hands from the desk and nodded slowly to Cecil. Cecil began to loath himself. Here was perfect beautiful Carlos, who still cared for him, who had lost so much, and all Cecil could do was lash out at him and throw painful memories in his face. He steadied himself internally and told himself he needed to save those thoughts for later; before he collapses into himself.

"This way then…"

Carlos lead Cecil back out of the office, outside he expected a guard to be waiting, anyone to have heard their conversation, but found the hall and stairway happily empty. Cecil tucked the gun away in his waist band, hand resting on it on the off chance something went wrong, and took a deep breath before following Carlos down the hall. Soon he found himself inside the speakeasy, music from a small live band was playing, flapper girls were dancing, and young gentlemen doing their best to court them, all with drinks in their hands. They went behind the bar, Carlos again tapping on the counter in some odd morose code, and then into a small kitchen. Cecil made a mental note of how it seemed more like a personal kitchen rather than one for the speakeasy, seeing only a small selection of pots and pans and a single, normal, fridge. Before they headed through another door, Carlos rummaged in a small closet, and came out with a suit and hat much like his own.

"You'll need to change your coat, it's too risky for you to be recognized right now." Cecil thought of fighting back, but he knew the supposed reasons and took the coat and hat that was being handed to him. He changed, handed his coat to Carlos and started to tuck his hair up into the hat. It was a large brimmed hat that made it so you would have had to be close to truly see who it was. If he kept his head down he would easily be able to appease Carlos's idea that he was in mortal danger. Once ready they went through the door into another area, it was storage closet with different chemicals, mops, brooms, and other cleaning equipment, as well as a broken washing machine. The next door let them into a laundry mat, they quickly left the building to a car that was waiting outside. Once they were both inside the car, doors close, Carlos harshly sucked in the air before quietly saying.

"The lab."

The two remained in a dead quite for the trip. Cecil tried to focus on the passing buildings, anything to keep his thoughts away from the handsome man he sat beside. He took a quick glance at their driver, a man wearing a tan jacket. He tried to use the various mirrors in the car to see what he might look like, but was unable to get a clear view and gave up. After taking many turns and various small streets Cecil began to recognized the area as one he used to drive though frequently. He bit his lip at the bitter memories and pushed then away for the moment. They were still a block away when Carlos suddenly spoke.

"Stop! Here…here is fine." They driver carefully pulled over and turned off the car. Cecil was puzzled, they were still a block away still far from the lab. Something felt off, and Cecil tightened his grip on the handgun. He watched Carlos and waited to see what his next move may be. Instead all he did was stare ahead, blankly, and spoke in a quiet even tone. "Keep your head down, try not to let anyone see you. You'll have to go and take a look yourself…" Carlos turned his head to gaze at Cecil, his eyes filled with sadness. "I…I can't go in there…I'm sorry Cecil."

Cecil relaxed slightly, he understood. If what Carlos said was true, it would make sense for him to not want to visit the ruins of his lab again. The door on Cecil's side was opened, being held by the chafer. He nodded to Carlos before moving out of the car and walking towards the direction of the lab; he still didn't catch what the man's face looked like.

The neighborhood was run down, all the building surrounding were empty and barren. It was a very old and uncared for part of town, and what Cecil knew as a heaven for Carlos's lab. He rounded the corner and a half destroyed building and three places down he saw it. He sped up his walk to a brisk jog and soon found himself in front of a lot completely filled with rubble. They hadn't just done something like set fire to it, or just destroyed his work, they _completely demolished_ the entire building. Around, only on the bottom floor where Cecil stood were there a few remaining white brick walls, dried blood speckling the area that would have been the main door. Tentatively Cecil stepped through the rubble and wood near the entrance and walked around, gazing at the shattered pieces of what he knew as Carlos's dream.

There were scorch marks, more old and dried pools and splatters of blood, places where corrosive chemicals had been thrown or dropped and ate holes into whatever it touched. There were occasionally pieces of science equipment, broken and battered, unusable for anything, not even as spare parts. Underneath a wall he saw a hand, half decomposed, of someone who had been trapped under a collapsed piece of roof and wall. It might have been a year, but Cecil could smell the vapors of burned flesh and paper, the dust still unsettled, and he swore if he listened really hard he could hear the cries of Carlos being forced to watch his lab annihilated and the sobs of those caught in the wreck.

He didn't doubt Carlos anymore, he didn't know if he forgave him yet though he knew now for sure it wasn't his fault, at least without question he knew he wasn't being lied too. Cecil, now aware of the danger, headed quickly back to the car. As he jumped inside he saw Carlos, head in his hands, look up to watch Cecil; he did his best to forget the look of despair and regret on the man's face. Soon they were off again and Cecil didn't waste any time, but he needed to make sure they were 'safe' to talk first. He pointed at the drive, again who's face he had still not seen, and whispered to Carlos.

"First, is he to be trusted?" Carlos let out a small chuckle.

"Yes, very much so. I trust him more than any of my other men." The man in the front gave a thumbs up to the two of them. "He's mute Cecil, he wouldn't be able to speak a word about our conversations even if he wanted to. Also, he's proven time and time again to be loyal, I trust him with my life," He turned to Cecil who reflectively looked back at Carlos. "and yours." Cecil quickly shifted his gaze to somewhere else, fighting a blush that wanted to play on his face.

"So, then, how is this plan of yours going to work?" Cecil stared ahead, ignoring the glance Carlos gave him.

"As I said before, I've taken care of your death. Now you just need to lay low, until they have 'settled in'." Cecil heard Carlos shift a bit, but continued to refuse to look over. "When the time is right, you'll be able to take back your place, your rightful place in the Night Vale Family."

"What about after that?" Carlos answered in a shaky voice.

"I…don' know. However I do know that I'm going to take that whole damned Family for one _hell_ of a ride." Hate seethed under Carlos's words, Cecil felt tense despite that the words and underlying promise of revenge were not meant for him; he had just never heard Carlos _sound_ like that before. Cecil thought it best to change the subject again.

"So, then where will I stay while I 'lay low'?"

"There are not many options. If you had a place to yourself it'd be easier for you to be caught, so…I thought it would be best for you to stay at my place." Carlos trailed off, a nervous tremble at the end of his words. The thought of being in the same living space as Carlos for some undetermined amount of time made Cecil fidgety. He wondered how he would possibly be able to sort out all of this damned _feelings_ let alone even begin to live with the man when he already had enough trouble waking up every night in a cold sweat and painfully hard from the leftovers of dreams and past memories. He knew he was doing into the lion's den, he was going to have to survive being surrounded by Carlos's musk, his voice muttering lyrics of science, his soft brown eyes that licked though the words of a book or notes that Cecil would find himself lost in. He had to if he was going to save his Family from whatever the Desert Bluffs Family had planned, if he was going to help Carlos achieve the revenge he so deserved to have. He was brought out of his thoughts by the frantic voice of Carlos, he looked over to find him waving his arms defensively in from of him as he spoke.

"You…You don't have to worry! I've already planned to give you my room. I don't have more than a one bedroom but the door locks, I made sure to get that fixed three weeks ago." Cecil couldn't help but relax at the sight of flustered Carlos, his hands running nervously though his perfect hair, the extravagant gestures he made with his hands, his long fingers twirling though the air as though plucking invisible strings. Cecil couldn't help but smirk as he watched him.

"Sure I wasn't completely ready for this to happen so soon, there had been some problems lately and I had to make my move, but I have enough to make sure that you'll be comfortable. Oh! I shouldn't have presumed that you wanted the bedroom. It's not as big as the bedroom but if you need it the living room is open to you as well. I do have a couch, it's quite new and comfy, at least I think it's comfortable but if it's not then- " Cecil placed a hand gently on his knee bringing the panicked ramble of Carlos's to a stop, he turned to Cecil who found himself with a small but genuine smile on his face. A brief thought crossed his mind of how he couldn't remember the last time he smiled.

"It's all jake Carlos," Cecil moved his hand back to his side, he wanted to reassure Carlos but he didn't think he himself was ready for much more or longer contact quite yet. "and the bedroom will be fine. We have a lot more important things to worry about then how I'm going to be a dewdropper." Carlos snorted a laugh as a smile quirked on his face; his opal teeth, perfect and straight, gleamed in the small space between his lips. Cecil felt a little warmth in his chest, just a small spark that he thought had long since been lost reignite at that tiny smile.

"Your too much of a live wire to be a dewdropper Cec." The smile was suddenly gone, and his body stiffed. "Sorry." Was all he muttered at the obvious accidental use of the old pet name. They spent the rest of the drive to Carlos's abode in complete silence. Cecil watched the buildings pass by as they drove deeper and deeper into the heart of the city. He couldn't tell where they were for he was too deep in himself trying his best to keep control of his wild emotions. He only came back to the present once he felt the car stop. He looked out the window to see they were in an intricate series of alleyways, parked at the back of a few buildings.

"Let's ankle." Carlos's voice was again distant; a painful string within Cecil was plucked by that voice. "Keep quiet and don't take any wooden nickels okay?" He just nodded and got out of the car, his mind too shambled from the day to have any kind of retort now. Once out of the car the driver took off leaving the two. Cecil took a quick look around trying to get his bearing of where he was. They were deep in the city, the noises of the streets and the people bustling echoed around him. To both sides of him, as well as further down the alley was buildings that all seemed to be apartments, lines of laundry trailing between each, some with clothes, some barren. He could hear a couple on one of the floors having a heated argument under the screeches of a trumpet player who was still too green.

"This way." He looked to see Carlos wave him towards the building on his left ten stories tall, one that was of dark red brick and white windows, and followed him in. The walls inside were a beige and the floors were white, and overall underwhelming. He was most certainly going to miss his house, was he going to miss each room and all their colors, he was mostly going to miss his own room done in his favorite shade of purple. As they ascended the black stairs that wound throughout the center of the building he thought if being this close to Carlos didn't drive him mad within a week, the lack of color would for sure.

They had just finished climbing the four flights when Cecil realized that this was not the same building that Carlos had lived in a year ago. It made sense that he would get a new place, for his own safety, to be far from the lab that had been taken from him that he lived so close to before. It left Cecil feeling more nervous and self-conscious entering a place he was so unfamiliar, he waited a few feet back from the door trying to get a hold on himself. He watched Carlos check the area, making sure no one had their doors open to see them, unlocking the door, and gesturing Cecil inside.

Cecil found himself stunned upon entering, the lack of color was something he expected but with a quick look around the small flat he found it oddly bare. The old place Cecil had been in had the walls covered in rolling chalkboards, desks with note and test tubes, books, pictures of family; just things that made the place feel lived in and homely. Now all he saw was plain white walls, a simple green couch that was a bit warn, and a kitchen that looked as though it was only ever used for coffee. His heart sank, in a year, in such a short time all that he knew of Carlos had been broken and hurt. Cecil never went to find Carlos after that note, instead all he did was feel sorry for himself for a year; hating, wishing, and hoping. He had been afraid that his heart would disintegrate into dust from the shards that were left if he went to find Carlos, or that he would end up dead for his efforts. Yet here he was, all his dreams lost, everything he held dear out of his reach, and still braving taking steps forward when Cecil was too scared to.

Cecil hated himself in that moment, disgusted with his own actions, to have been childish to ignore what was going on around him, to be ignorant of his own feelings, and to be ignorant of Carlos. He turned back to the door where Carlos was hurriedly removing his hat and coat, fidgeting with the creases trying to form on it and straightening them the best he could. His resentment of himself melted as he watched Carlos fidgeted with his coat as he was putting it way on the standing rack. He had always been calm, calculated, incredibly smart, brave, everything Cecil wished he could be; and he…he desired him for it. He wanted to give him back all that had been taken, to put the glimpses of amber he had seen today back permanently in his eyes, never to leave again. But was all he going to do was stand there and watch as he had done for a year? To pacify himself by saying that all is well? He took off his hat, his hair falling back in place as he fingered the fabric rim.

'No,' he could feel his heart race, beating so hard it hurt. 'No, I won't…I won't run anymore. I'm…' Carlos suddenly noticed Cecil's stare, he glance back their eyes meeting. Cecil's heart seemed to stop the moment those honeyed eyes gazed into his own. 'I'm going to fix this.' He didn't think the pulsing muscle in his chest could writhe in any more pain, longing, and desire, but with that thought it did. Tonight was not the night though, tonight they needed rest, and tonight he especially needed to let everything settle in.

"I think I'm going to turn in."

"Oh…um, t-the closet is where you can find some clothes if you need them. Don't hesitate to ask me if you need something." There was a pull in Cecil's gut as Carlos turned away from him and back to the wrinkling coat. "Goodnight then Cecil to fussing." Cecil frowned and briefly wondered what was going though that beautiful mind.

The bedroom was easy to find, there were only two other doors in the apartment, one lead to the bathroom and the other his destination. The room, like the front room, was devoid of any items that were distinctly Carlos; leaving the closet, dresser, and bed as the only decorations in the desolate room. He went to the closet to take a look at the clothes that had been picked for him. He was, quite surprised! There were a huge multitude of colors, patterns, and types of clothes. He plucked one that was a lime green tunic and felt the course fabric between his fingers. They weren't his clothes, the soft silk shirts he owned in a rainbow of colors, but he was glad to give up all of those for this small selection.

He knew Carlos had to have spent time to pick each piece out himself, no one else could have been able to capture his taste in clothes. He rummaged through the closet until he found a single nightwear set the color of lilac with purple carved glass button that trailed down the front. He began remove his clothing and get dressed in the new night wear when the sound of metal and carpet reverberated softly in the room. He looked to where the sound came from and was surprised to see the gun he had earlier now on the ground. He had forgotten that he even had it, too preoccupied with his own new mental wars.

He decided to first finish getting dressed, pulling the shirt that was too big for him over his head and tying the drawstrings of the overly large pants; he cursed himself under his breath for losing so much weight over the year. Once done he reached out and grasped the cold metal carefully. He pondered what he should do with it and decided for now to rest it on the dresser; he needed to rest and trying to fiddle with the gun now was much less pressing, it could wait till morning.

He quickly flopped on his back onto the bed and let his eyes unfocused as he gazed up at the featureless ceiling. The day had utterly drained him, now that he was alone he could fully relax and allow all the pent up frustrations out. He took catalog of the day's events and groaned as he placed an arm over his eyes.

"Cecil, your some joke. Stupid, Stupid Cecil." He chastised himself, for he felt that all he had done was muck up everything he possibly could that day. The quite possible last bit of reserve or happiness Carlos might have had he took away with a simple sentence. Then he had the audacity in his own scrambling to force him to return to his old lab, memories so painful he couldn't get closer than _a block_ to the damned area. If Carlos didn't seem him as a horrible person by now, and retract what he had said earlier, Cecil's actions today probably fixed that.

He rubbed his hands over his face, he disliked being around Carlos sometimes. The scientist had somehow calculated the quickest way to sink into Cecil's heart every time he saw him. He hated it, for only around Carlos did he lose his tact with words and keeping calm. If he was honest with himself he would admit that he didn't mean what he had said, he didn't regret Carlos or their times together. Carlos had never soiled any of him, and if he was to point blame he would have to turn the finger on himself. It was him who had found him, huddled in the corner of the speakeasy, it was him who bought them enough giggle water to make them both ossified, and it was him who had drug him off for some lovely petting. Given, it had been Carlos who had furthered what they did that night, but it was never anything Cecil didn't want already. If anyone had been 'dirtied' it had been Carlos.

He bit his lip, the urge to curse and yell held back by the pain. He blamed himself for all of this, for getting Carlos into the whole mess. He didn't regret meeting Carlos, he couldn't regret the man that brought him so much happiness; an existence that brightened his dark, smoldering gun, blood covered world. He wanted to make up for it all, for the lost time, for the hurtful words. He was willing to spend all of his natural life to do this, and considering the kind of predicament they were both in, he might not have that much longer. He needed somewhere to start too, something he could do to show Carlos he was willing to try and be at least friendly, to show he really wanted to help.

He realized this was going to be quite difficult seeming as he had just spent most of the afternoon pointing a gun at him.

'Oh, right…' He moved his arm off his face to glance at the small metal death contraption looming at the edge of the dresser. He grimaced and felt that thought, though Carlos would never know what had been going through his mind; he should apologize for trying to convince himself to pull the trigger. The sudden memory of a bullet whizzing by his head made him smirk. 'Okay, so maybe we're more even on that front.'

After pondering the notion for a moment, he frowned. 'No.' a tight churning started in his gut. 'If Carlos meant what he said, if he's the same guy a year ago. He never had it in his heart to even come close to that.' A scare tactic, Cecil was sure of it; and he was glad that it worked too. This just caused all his emotions of regret and disappointment in himself to grow. He felt defeated, there was no possible way that he would be able to climb and conquer the unimaginably tall mountain that now stood between them. A lifetime would be spent before he would be able to make a dent in righting the wrongs he had done to Carlos.

He knew the next step in his thoughts, the logical process of what he should ponder next, the important and hovering question grinning at him maliciously in the dark corner of his mind. He stopped himself before he even let the idea flow between the cracks, instead focusing on the gun he was still visually fixed on. He needed to get rid of it, it would only taunt him further by pushing facts he wanted to avoid into his face at the moment. Maybe he could throw it out the small window that was a little past the end of the bed, toss it towards the setting sun never to see the damned gun again; and to chase it with some hooch to forget it all.

He was then hit with an odd, but possibly brilliant idea. He would of course still have _miles_ to go to repair the damage between them, but Carlos had given him the gun in trust. Maybe Carlos would be able to see the same of him if he returned it in the same manner. He also felt stupid, since it should have been the _first_ thing to have crossed him mind rather than chucking it out the window and getting half-seas over on alcohol he didn't even know where he would get.

Purposely, he lifted himself from the bed and grabbed the gun, made sure it was no longer cocked, and moved to the door. He reached out for the knob and abruptly felt highly uncomfortable and nervous; as though he was about to walk into a forbidden room that once he opened he would find ever dream and horror that ever crossed him mental brain scape. Carlos _had_ said if he needed anything, he had made it clear the door was open for him anytime, but Cecil still felt like an intruder. He steadied himself, he had before walking into rooms, guns blazing, return fire scorching past, and he hadn't even thought to be nervous. If he could do that, and only leave with a few new scars and alive, he could walking into a room with the person of his affection.

Forcing himself, he opened the door and walked into the room. He walked over to the couch and saw Carlos sitting on it, back to Cecil, and unmoved. Cecil moved until he was almost arm's length from the couch and did his best to find his voice.

"C-carlos?" he called tentatively. Carlos jerked and swiveled around to face Cecil, his face painted in panic. He took a moment to eye Cecil and saw the gun in his hand; his eyes went wide and Cecil could see the pin pricks of fear starting to surface on his perfect face. He acted quick, moving the gun to be grasped in his hands by the barrel and held it out as Carlos had. He hoped that Carlos would understand the new message of trust he was trying to show; because he couldn't say it.

"I believe this belongs to you." His eyes stayed large, but the fear eased from his face. He reached over and gently took the gun and brought it into his lap. It took a moment but Cecil saw a smile, a real _smile_, grace Carlos's lips. He watched as the strong features of his face relaxed, a soothed look coming over him. Cecil wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch that perfect, beautiful face. Cecil could feel his heart flutter about like a bat disturbed by the light and the warmth of that smile was _infectious_. It was all Cecil could take for the moment, so in quick retreat he ran to the closest door; which happened to be the bathroom. He thought he might have heard Carlos say something, but the scorching on his face and the pounding in his ears drowned out the idea to go back as he closed the door behind him.

He leaned against the rough wooden door, stray splinters poking him in the back. He placed a hand on his face as he tried to catch the breath he didn't notice that he had lost as he felt the heat crawling across his skin underneath his hand. He decided now was a _very_ good time for a bath; a really long bath.

The next few hours were a blur. He had relaxed into the surprisingly large bath, mulling more over his plan to attempt to 'fix everything'. But all he accomplished was backing himself further into un-escapable seeming crook and creating a list of potential things he would need to make up for and not an answer to one of them.

When he left the bathroom he found the living room clear of all light except that which was coming from the bathroom. He could see the form of Carlos laid out on the small couch tucked underneath a large quilted blanket. Not wanting to wake him, Cecil carefully walked back to his room and as silently as he could, shut his door.

He let out a sigh and not particular caring for cleanliness at the moment, tossed the orange towel he had found in the bathroom onto the floor; promising himself that he would take care of it tomorrow. Once to the bed he flopped down on his stomach, and buried his face into the sole pillow he had. He took a deep breath and was graced with the wonderful musky smell that was Carlos laced into the pillow. The light smell of soap, and lavender mingled with the salty pure essence of Carlos. A warm coiling wiggled in Cecil's gut. It wasn't often he had the chance to breath the unadulterated smell of Carlos, he always liked to try to cover up the deep smells of the chemicals he worked with scents that were stronger. It bogged and invaded his mind, washing away the badgering and regretful thoughts he had been struggling with. It melted away the anguish of the day and slowly Cecil found himself slipping into a long forgotten memory of a lazy, carefree day; a happiness spreading over him as he fell asleep.

[+]-[+]-[+]

Cecil was stretched out on the bed, legs crossed comfortably over each other, his head against the wall and his back propped up by a few pillows. The heat of the summer sweltering though the thin walls of the apartment. He could feel more drops of sweat bead on his neck and swim down to the collar of his grey sleeveless shirt that clung to him. He did his best to keep himself immersed in the book he held; anything to distract him from the broiling heat, or that the swamp cooler was in the other room with the only window.

He should have heard the door to the bedroom opening, the sound of heavy footsteps leading to the side of the bed, and the ruffling of a lab coat. But he did not, he knew that this had happened and yet he remained there eyes flying over each typed word.

The book was quite swiftly removed from his lose fingers by a studding mocha skinned hand. He looked up to the man who was standing beside the bed, he could feel himself beaming at him.

"Carlos, you know it's terribly rude to interrupt someone's reading." He reached, straining to grasp the book dangled just out of his reach. He did all he could to reach it, but it never got any closer or farther away from his outstretched fingers.

"Carlos." He whined. He was about to speak again, he didn't know what, but he found his words cut off by a hand that now pressed against his chest pushing him back into the bed. Cecil let himself be guided and with not even a moment to blink found himself being straddled by Carlos.

Despite the heat, Carlos looked cool and untouched; his red button up shirt dry and lose though he wore his lab coat, and black denim jeans seemingly comfortable. How desperately be wished he could feel as unburdened by the heat as he.

He felt pressure from both of Carlos's hands on his chest, book now gone mysteriously. Long fingers traced down to the hem of his shirt, gliding under to caress the wet hot skin encased underneath as he captured Cecil's lips. He gasped into the kiss, his hands instinctively seeking to twist themselves into the perfect dark curls of Carlos's hair. Cecil mewed as chills of light please wove though him as Carlos started to play with a nipple.

Cecil felt like he was baking from the inside out, he didn't know he had been in such desperate _need_ to have Carlos touch him. Carlos sucked and bit Cecil's bottom lip and he continued to pinch and caress, causing Cecil to let out a hearty grown, pulling Carlos's hair, and grind against him. Carlos trailed kisses down to the curve of his neck, and then nipped and sucked at the area. Cecil's hands moved down to Carlos's hips and he bucked further into him as he sputtered his name. Between his legs he felt as though he was on fire, the friction between the two of them was not enough. He tingled in want to have himself buried deep in Carlos, to feel himself surrounded by his heat, to hear the perfect sweet voice call out his name.

Cecil whimpered as he felt the hand under his shirt, and the soft lips of Carlos withdraw from his body. He looked up, wanting to ask why he had stopped. His breathing was heavy and yet Carlos still looked the same, he was untouchable and un-phased. Carlos's eyes looked as though they were taking in ever inch, every small detail of him as he lay under the gorgeous man. Behind the glasses Cecil could easily see clear eyes of brown amber dancing, full with life. The most stunning, loving, and caring smile was on the scientists face.

"Cecil." His voice was like the most delicious chilled custard in the hottest day of summer. He felt a calm wash down him from his head to the tips of his toes. He relished in the feeling; for at that moment the wet crumpled short he wore, the scorching heat of summer, nor could the throbbing in his pants mask or triumph over the feeling of complete adoration.

"Cecil, I-"

[+]-[+]-[+]

Cecil woke up with a start. He found himself to be in a state not farther off then how he was in the dream. His cock ached to be touched; his head too fogged by the sudden start and stress of the day to fully care if he was about to touch himself. Especially in a bed that was not his let alone the bed of someone who, more or less, was currently your ex. He was also too groggy to even wonder why he had woken so suddenly, none of it mattered at that moment. He grasped at the ghosting trails of the dream, doing his best to bring it back to the surface. He imagined Carlos's hands grasped at the hem of his pants, easily sliding them past his hips and releasing his dripping erection. He closed his eyes, head thrown back, hand over his mouth doing what he could to quite himself as he stroke himself to the tune of his imagined Carlos's mouth. He could picture him licking up from the base of his cock, slowly working up to the tip and gliding his tongue over the slit of his shaft. Cecil shivered and could hear his own muffled moans reverberate through the empty room. He turned onto his side and buried his face back into the pillow in an attempt to quite himself.

He didn't know if should regret his choice or not, because he was suddenly encompassed by Carlos. His smell permeated his brain and seemed to kick his own fantasy into something feeling more real and tangible. Like the warm fingers of whiskey he could feel Carlos trailing his hands over his body as he licked and sucked at his cock. Brown skinned fingers trailing across his quivers muscles, moving up his body. The hand continued its path until it came to his mouth, Cecil opening to allow two fingers to slide in. His tongue danced and wove around the fingers, he felt as though all of Carlos was coursing through him slowly, touching and tasting all that he was. He couldn't keep quiet, he could feel the smirk on Carlos's perfect amazing lips as he gave him muffled groans and gasps. After the fingers were slick enough they were pulled from his gasping mouth, un-stifled whimpers at the now empty feeling in his mouth.

Cecil pushed himself back into the pillow, the seemingly glowing eyes of Carlos fixated on him, watched him, and he felt a single digit touch his entrance. He begged into the pillow, a string of pleas mixed with Carlos's name, as the finger slowly worked its way into him. He twitched and jerked at the welcome feeling, the slight pain he felt completely overwhelmed by the waves of please as he felt Carlos finger him.

His lungs cried for more air as he did all he could to stifle his own cries of Carlos's name as a second finger slid inside him. The fingers twisted in him, reaching desperately for his prostate. Carlos was now fully engulfing his cock, his wonderful soft lips gently brushing against the base with each dip. Cecil felt like he was going to overheat and past out in the waves of pleasure vibrating though his body. A tightening started to build at the base of his cock, every touch, breath, and movement became heightened and desperate. The fingers pushed deeper and as they writhed within him they finally brushed upon the spot that cause Cecil to see stars behind his closed eyes. He couldn't help it, waves of release pulsed within him, crashing into him as he cried out Carlos's name; amber eyes still watching, lips still surrounding him, and still moving as he drank in Cecil as he came.

The waves soon started to subside, the coils within him released of their tension, and the calm lull that sank in like a soft blanket on clean skin. Slowly, after he had caught his breath, he became more aware of cold and weightless the rest of the bed was. The illusion of Carlos dissipated and he was left with his own fingers popping out of himself and his own hand covered in his cum. It was like every other time he had been graced with dreams of Carlos, sleep fogged his mind for him only to regret it once it was all over, regret the empty bed and that he felt so desperate for a man he had thought wanted nothing more to do with him.

But, it was different now. Yes the bed still was cold and empty save for himself, but there was a warmth that hovered inside him where a normal chill would have swept in. He took a deep breath and the scent of himself mingled with the lingering of Carlos's scent that seeped out of the pillow and sheets, and the warmth grew. He felt, _alright_ for the first time in a year; comfortable and whole even if only for a moment. He needed to clean up, he remembered the towel and hoped it was close to the bed. He counted himself luckily, and after a small struggle to grasp the fabric quickly cleaned himself up and let himself fall into a lulled sleep.

He wondered if he might have more dreams that drove him to the edges of pleasure like that, if he might wake up many more times during the night because he was in Carlos's bed surrounded by his scent. He wondered if he would be able to keep up with it all as he was especially trapped here in this little apartment with only Carlos as company.

He did a bit of shuffling and managed to worm his way under the covers he had before only been sleeping on and wrapped himself in the warmth of himself and fragments of Carlos. For now, he felt that if he could feel this content at the end of every night, then it was something he could deal with no matter how difficult.


	2. Chapter 2: Fever Dream

From Dawn to Dusk

By Eule Vix

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Welcome to Night Vale and I do not make any money off of this fic.

Notes: Translations at the bottom

Chapter 2: Fever Dream

Cecil was stirred by the dark and warm smell of hot coffee. Fought with himself, caught between wanting to go fetch a cup of the hot liquid and rolling over to return to sleep; tangling himself back in the lovely dream he had been having. He decided that to return to the land of slumber would be more satisfying than the coffee that percolated somewhere in the kitchen. He moaned and rolled onto his stomach and pulled the blanket over his head. Once his stomach was flat against the bed he could feel that his stomach felt caked in some residue cracking like dry paint as he moved.

'Oh…' He suddenly remembered the hazed hallucination and embers of desire in the grog of sleep. A blush quickly crept onto his face and he buried his face unto the pillow. 'Stupid, stupid Cecil!' He realized that in the throws of his own misguided pleasure there was a very large possibility he had woken up Carlos just in time for him to hear his climax. He felt ridiculous for yet again failing to make any progress in his 'make it up to Carlos' and 'I'll fix everything' plans and instead giving way so easily to backtracking. He slunk into the bed just wanting to slip back into his dreams. But found himself too awake and the pungent smell of the dark roasted beans too strong to ignore. Frustrated, he threw off his blankets and went to go and change his clothes.

His mind couldn't help but wonder back to what he had done last night, trying to remember how loud he might have been. 'Maybe he didn't hear me. Maybe I'll have a stroke of luck for once. Maybe I somehow remembered to be quiet.' He thought as he thumbed through the clothes. 'Or, maybe if he had heard, maybe he…' his thoughts trailed off another wave of heat prickled at his cheeks. This could be a blessing in disguise; he had just confessed the other day. It was so soon but, maybe just maybe Cecil had somehow gotten really lucky. He finally picked out a set of clothes, changed, and rushed to the door.

The same feeling from before, the foreboding of entering a place or room that was not his, crept up his arm as his hand grasped the handle. It made him uneasy and unsure of if what he was doing was the right thing; he knew that the longer he was here, the more comfortable he would be with the little apartment. He wished that he could feel comfortable with it all now, for it was just making the nervous creep of doubt and regret worse. Swallowing the feeling he turned the handle and entered the living room looking carefully around trying to find the scientist.

"Carlos?" He called out tentatively. He didn't see anyone on the couch, only the pile of blankets Carlos had used to sleep under the night before. He looked to the kitchen and found the small area to be void of anything except the small pot of the coffee that had coaxed him out of his dreams. He glanced over to the bathroom and found it to be open, dark, and empty as the rest of the living room. Cecil groaned and rubbed his hands against his face hoping that he had only just missed the scientist, that he had indeed not heard the incident of the night, and that Carlos could still make a good cup of coffee.

After having a cup of the still hot coffee, he had himself another long shower. The rest of the day he puttered around, unsure of what to do with himself. He couldn't make himself breakfast, or any food really. Carlos being the most absent-minded scientist Cecil knew, had forgotten to stock his cabinets and fridge with any kind of edible items. It hadn't been the first time Cecil had gone without eating, it just didn't help the pains in his gut; especially since he hadn't eaten the day before either. He tried to read some of the books he had managed to find in the closet, tried on a few of the more colorful clothes he now owned, then eventually fell to pelting the wall with cotton balls he had found in the bathroom as he sat on the couch. Hours passed, making the scientific and horrifically boring books he'd discovered seem interesting, though he understood none of it. Eventually the sun set and the curtains in the bedroom now held back the night behind them; but still no sign of Carlos.

He wanted to stay up; he wanted to be able to scold him for leaving him there all day, with nothing to do, and with no food. But more hours passed, and soon he found himself unable to keep awake and instead passed out on the couch waiting for the dark haired man to return.

Again he woke to the smell of coffee, this time only lingering but which still made his stomach growl and grumble craving anything that was remotely close to food. He didn't know when he had fallen asleep, he knew it had been late. With a quick look around he could tell that Carlos had not only been there but had, yet again, already left. Cecil felt himself start to be a little infuriated with the scientist. Upset about the food, the lack of company, but most of all he was angry with himself; that he had been so stupid as to possibly cause Carlos to avoid him at all costs. He tossed off the blanket that had been placed on him while he snoozed and he went to inspect the kitchen hoping that at least Carlos left something for him to eat. He felt relieved to see that the fridge now had at least a few groceries; Cecil reluctantly forgave him for now.

The coffee was cold this time, but he still poured a cup and made a quick breakfast just so he could quell the pains of his gut. The rest of his day was much the same as before, except this time he didn't need to wonder if books could be edible. For the second time he did what he could to stay up and wait for Carlos walk into the apartment. But when the first peaks of light touched Cecil's face thought the fabric covered window of the bedroom, he sighed half-heartedly, and let himself finally lay down to sleep as there was still no sign of Carlos.

This continued for the rest of the week. Cecil tried to wait up for Carlos, but on the nights he waited up completely, Carlos would never set foot in the apartment. He figured Carlos had one of his men watching the place, and that he was without a doubt avoiding Cecil. By the end of the week he felt himself start to go stir-crazy with needing to have some kind of human interaction, or to do something other than pretend to read books he had no way of comprehending. He had become quite good at hitting a small nail hole, where a picture or painting was once held, with the cotton-balls he hoarded. Regardless of what meaningless, mundane, and over-done actions he did, they did nothing to sate the growing desire to talk to or even just see another human being. It was that Thursday night, while Cecil was pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the bedroom and back that he got an idea, a way to possibly capture the illusive scientist.

It was Friday again when Cecil decided to put a plan into action. He deduced that Carlos's men could probably only see so much, so it would be easy for Cecil to fool them into thinking that he was asleep, easy for him to fool them into telling Carlos the coast was clear. That night he waited up till the sun set, waiting till it felt to be a hour he would normally go to sleep, and went to the bed lay in wait.

I was about an hour later that he heard the front door to the apartment open, keys jingling, and a heavy sigh call him to action. He carefully slipped out of the blanket and edged to the bedroom door he purposely left ajar. He peaked around the corner and saw his target. His hair was slicked back, he downed again a black suit, a small paper bag in his arms. Cecil scowled but pushed off the feelings of how he actually hated seeing Carlos in those clothes as he waited for Carlos to move away from the front door. Carlos moved towards the kitchen, new food in hand, when Cecil decided it was time to strike. Carlos didn't hear the slight squeak of the door nor the muffled footsteps of Cecil as he walked closer to the front door. Once he got to his goal, he leaned against it cutting off the main escape route and then cleared his throat. Carlos nearly dropped the dozen of eggs he had in his hands startled by the unexpected noise, the carton being juggled in the air as he attempted to re-gain his hold.

"Well, good evening Carlos."

"Ce-Cecil? What are you doing awake?" His voice felt like cool water to his ears, starting to sate the thirst Cecil had to just hear another person. However, it didn't help quell the anger he felt at being left alone for a week.

"I could say the same of you." He crossed his arms as he put a foot against the door, pointedly made it known he wasn't going to let Carlos leave before their conversation was over.

"I-well that is..um, the office, th-they made me stay late. I couldn't-"

"Save me the bull, Carlos." He wanted to get to the point, he wanted the truth, and he wanted it right then and there; and he was fairly sure he could handle it. He hoped that it wasn't just his anger and loneliness talking and only getting him in deeper.

"Be level with me, you've been avoiding me and I want to know why." Carlos's face stiffed into a frown as he went back to putting away the items of food.

"You're being ridiculous."

"Oh, so I suppose that the fact that this is the first time I've seen you in a week is pure coincidence? That the nights I stayed awake till dawn you just happened to be forced away from here?"

"If that's what you would like to believe." Cecil scowled, Carlos was on obvious lockdown and denial; always avoiding, never telling. Cecil decided to press harder. He moved himself from the door and started making his way, slowly, over to Carlos.

"Bullshit. You are avoiding me, just be honest Carlos."

"I have no idea what you are talking about Cecil." Cecil might not be a scientist, one with the ability for mathematical figures and memorization of chemicals, but when it came to the subtleties of body language he liked to think of himself as proficient in seeing and knowing it's language. He knew he was close to getting Carlos to crack and talk, he could see him fighting to keep a static face. If he could even get remotely close to how Carlos was a week ago maybe there could be real progress made, maybe he would open up again; maybe if Carlos did Cecil could as well, just a little.

"Yes you do. Don't play me for a damned fool cause I'm not!" He could feel his anger slip away for a moment, his voice rising slightly in volume. Cecil was halfway between the kitchen and the door when Carlos abandoned the groceries and quickly sped past Cecil before he had much of a time to react.

"This conversation is now over Cecil." He spoke as he pass, Cecil finally able to react, turned and followed Carlos.

"Stop running away Carlos!" He had been prepared to say more, or anything, to get Carlos to pause and listen; but saying that seemed to do the trick. Carlos froze only arm's length from Cecil. He decided since pushing wasn't doing much good, that he would have to try a different approach, one he had ultimately been hoping to avoid.

"Let's just assume…" He tried to start and all his excuses and words fled him like water soaking into deep cracked thirsty earth. He tried again.

"It's just that I…" Again he failed, he needed to say something, anything before Carlos started to leave again. He again rubbed his hands across his face in frustration. 'Again…one more time. I've gatta try one more time.' He opened his mouth a third time, and before he could hold it back the truth of his thoughts came spilling forth from him.

"I…I know you heard alright? I know what I did…But I can't change my actions of the past and I am sorry. However," though Carlos still had his back to him, Cecil moved hands in varying gestures as he talked. The physical show more to keep himself grounded and fluid in his speech then for Carlos to see the importance of what he spoke of.

"you said you needed my help, that I'm a part of this plan and I want to help. I want to be a part of this plan, I want to help you Carlos. But I can't help if every day I'm left alone cooped up in this apartment with nothing to do but throw cotton balls at the damned walls." He took a staggered breath before he continued.

"I'm going bonkers in here Carlos! Stir-crazy! I feel like I'm about to pull out my hair, that when it comes time for any type of progress with the plan all I'll be is a useless slobbering mess!" His voice had a tone of panic towards the end, truly fearing he might ruin the plan Carlos had put in motion.. Outwardly he would say it would be so he could end all this fighting and go back to his old life. Inwardly, it was so that he could see Carlos smile again, beautiful and carefree.

"So please just, can we clear the air, or work out some kind of understanding? Just, something so we can at least get back onto speaking terms?" If it hadn't been for the slow slump of Carlos's shoulders, Cecil would have thought he was just speaking to hear himself. He was glad to see his words had been heard, but he waited for a response and nothing came. He decided to take this as though he should continue.

"I do…I do care about you, Carlos. I-" He saw Carlos immediately stiff as he interrupted Cecil, his words cold and dark.

"No. You don't." Cecil felt cold cascade down him like he had plunged head first into a pool of ice water. Cecil could tell that to move forward he would need to tread easily and carefully, and he didn't know if he could. He didn't know if he had already stepped and created the first crack that might fracture into many at any moment. He was glad however that they were now getting somewhere.

"Yes, I do Carlos. Liste-"

"No Cecil." He slowly turned to face him, hands balled at his sides, eyes hidden behind the glare on his glasses. Cecil could tell he was shaking, he couldn't pinpoint what he was shaking from, his face a mix of several emotions.

"This time I won't listen. Yes, you are still an integral part of the plan for the attack on the Desert Bluffs. However," Carlos trailed off a bit, pushed the glasses on his face up to a higher point on the bridge of his nose then placed both his hands behind his back. Cecil did not like the feeling that started to tingle though his body.

"the last thing I want, should, or need to deal with at this moment, in such a critical time, is having my emotions toyed with." Carlos straightened his posture slightly before he continued.

"I will inform you on when progress is made, or if there are any changes to getting you back into Night Vale territory. In the meantime," Carlos's voice seemed dipped in venom; yet strained as though the hands that held it back had just lost their grip.

"why don't you go and get cleaned up since you've been so soiled."

Carlos spun back to the door and sped to the door. Cecil felt like a rope had wove its body tightly on his heart, painfully tight. His head spun. Regrets were not something he tangled with often, but there was nothing he had more remorse for then those words. He did his best to regain his bearings, knowing he could not let Carlos leave. He ran to the door, placing a heavy hand on its wooden face. Carlos stopped just in front of the door, his eyes fixated ahead; Cecil could now see the wet shine that encompassed the eyes of the scientist. Nothing had fallen yet from them, but the rope tightened threatened to squeeze the life out of each beat of his heart.

"Out of the way Cecil." His voice was quiet, unemotional, and poisonous. Cecil felt his body want to tremble. He knew what he needed to say, and he wanted to say it. But he was unsure and afraid of what he did not know, of what unraveling those words would do to his world. His voice caught in his throat unable to speak of what he so desperately needed to say. His mind searched frantically trying to think of anything to say, something that would keep Carlos there, anything to convey what he really did feel without having to say it.

"Out. Of. Th-" He cut Carlos off, blurting out the first thing his mind could tentatively grasp.

"You never soiled me!" Carlos went quiet, now silently watching him, seemingly to let him continue.

"It..you-" He hated this, hated how only with Carlos he was at a loss of words; only with Carlos did his mind become such a scramble. He took a deep breath before he could stammer a sentence out.

"It wasn't you. It was..I-" He put a hand to his face, while still keeping the other on the door, trying to do what he could to hide the embarrassing truth of his words. His voice still curved with panic. "I was upset, I've been upset, and furious. A week ago I said a lot of things I regret. Before that, done a lot of things that I regret. But-"

"It doesn't change that it was said." He could still feel the toxin in his voice, but it seemed more controlled then it had been. Cecil let his hand slip from his face, gesturing as he pleaded.

"But, I can say what I really meant, what I really wanted to say." Carlos turned to face him, eyes cold and distant.

"What did you mean then?"

His mind screamed, his vocal cords clamped, and his heart ponded in his ears. He had to say it, if he didn't he would lose Carlos for now, maybe forever; he didn't know and he wanted to do everything he could to not find out. Again he tried to speak, and again found that he could not. He felt it, he knew it, he knew he felt the same for Carlos as he did for him. But it was the years of living in the mob, the rules ingrained in him, the fear of death for them both, and the fear that there were ears everywhere. From the time of birth the Family was home, he knew nothing else; and Carlos was from a different world, one more free, one not of the Family. No matter how he cherished him, right now the mentally ingrained blocks froze him from being able to utter the words only leaving him to be mouthing wordlessly. Carlos scowled.

"To think I'm stuck on you…" Sadness lingered in his voice as he turned back towards the door, hand now grasped on the handle. Cecil still couldn't say it, he wanted to so bad to the point he was at near tears. But he couldn't, so he gave up in panic, instead going for the only thing he could say, the only action he could do. He grasped Carlos's shoulders spinning him back to face him, shock and confusion washed over his face.

"Cecil!" He didn't care if Carlos would be angry, that it might do more damage than good, but it was all he had left; maybe, hopefully, Carlos would trust the words of his body more than the ones he spoke. He quickly closed the space between them and placed his lips onto Carlos's. He felt fevered, he wanted to crush their lips together, to saver the feeling of his body again his; but that's not what he wanted to say. His kiss was instead gentle and full. Carlos's lips were chapped and rough yet plush and wonderful on his own. His nose was against the cold metal of Carlos's cheaters, as he peered with half-lidded eyes at Carlos, watching him, trying to show him what he meant.

At first Carlos's face went ridged with shock, he tried to speak but was still silenced under the kiss. He moved and mimicked Cecil with his hold, clinging to Cecil's shoulders. For a moment Cecil thought that Carlos was going to push him away; but he soon found himself being pulled closer, his kiss being returned with an unhindered passion. Cecil relaxed, letting himself melt into Carlos's arms as they moved to the small of his back and side of his head. He closed his eyes as he basked in the warmth and adoration he felt brimming from his own chest, the tight wringing around heart now gone.

He wrapped his arms around the man he so adored and held him tightly, suddenly scared that maybe this was again just a dream; that it couldn't have been this easy for him to understand and know what his heart wanted to say. But he felt the parting of Carlos's lips and the wet touch of a tongue and all other thought was lost except how delightful Carlos tasted. Somewhere in the mess of their tongues dancing, their hands clinging tightly, bodies pressed together, Cecil felt himself be led and pinned against the door. They stayed entangled in each other for a while, relishing in touches so long wanted; just the feeling to have each other again, to hold, to care for. Their kiss was passionate, not of lust, but rather of them both clutching tightly the fondness they had for one another.

Keeping Cecil steadfast against the door Carlos broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Cecil's. Both panting hot and heavy, breaths mingled between them like a haze. It was once Carlos got control on his breathing that he spoke.

"Just say it…please." His heart sank, he knew he couldn't; but he knew what he could say. He just hoped Carlos would understand, that it would be enough. He tightly hugged Carlos hoping that if he did decide to leave it might buy him some time to finish and explain.

"Carlos," his voice etched in a shaky tremble. "I want to. So, so badly I want to. But I need you to understand, I was born into the Family. There are rules that are sockdollager, that are engrained in me." He took a shaky breath before he continued, a small flame of happiness flared in him as he didn't feel Carlos struggle or attempt to move, but instead listened intently.

""But-" He paused, and took a moment to unwrap his hands from around Carlos and instead move them to the sides of Carlos's face. He watched the amber flicker in his eyes as he braced himself to say the closest words he could to what Carlos wanted, needed, to hear.

"Know that I do feel the same for you. Regardless of what I might say, my actions will never betray you." He leaned in, eyes closed, as he place a small shy kiss on Carlos's lips before he spoke again.

"I still feel the same I did a year ago, and I don't think anything can, nor will, ever change that." He couldn't help but beam at Carlos, the warmth from deep within him made him feel like he was about to burst. He watched Carlos's eyes flicker and search his face, gauging and calculating. Carlos leaned in his lips just hovering over his own, his eyes narrowed. Cecil shivered as he felt his breath caress him, a desire to capture those lips again welled within him.

"Then show me." The low and husky tones echoed in Cecil's brain, as he felt worn hands snake under his shirt and the lips that hovered so near closed the gap between. Cecil couldn't help but moan under the touch. Carlos's fingertips trailed up his stomach towards his chest, where ever he touched felt electrified and as though he was leaving a path of sparks across his body. Cecil gasped when he felt a hand glide over one of his nipples breaking their kiss.

"Carlos!" He squeaked out involuntarily as ripples of pleasure engulfed him. He barely had a chance for a single breath before his mouth was covered with Carlos's, his tongue exploring hungrily inside of Cecil's. Cecil couldn't help but let himself wither and fall apart. He felt a hand move around his waist pulling him closer as Carlos bucked against him. Cecil found himself tenting in his loose night wear, Carlos tight and strained in his own pants. Cecil moved his hips to meet Carlos's thrusts, moaning and grasping as they kissed.

He wanted to feel Carlos against him, not just through the fabrics between them. He moved his hands to fumble with the buttons of his jacket. Once it was lose he started with the white collared shirt, but he paused as he felt the hand playing with his nipple move to his back; slowly trailing fingernails as it moved. The stimulation sent waves of shivers over him, he was unable to think or move, all he could do was gasp in pleasure. He felt the soft pursed lips of the scientist leave his own, he whimpered at the loss but soon found himself mewling as perfect teeth lightly nipped at his neck. A haze of pleasure bogged Cecil's mind as he swam in the pleasure enveloping his body. The world washed away and no one else existed except the two of them. He was so engulfed that he didn't notice when there was a hand fumbling with the hem of his pants, fingers tracing its edge. His world came a bit back into focus as he hissed when he felt a sudden cold washed over his erect shaft.

He nearly yelled out Carlos's name as his hand wrapped around his member, slowly, gently stroking him. With each pump of his hand Cecil bucked in rhythm, rippling heat and ecstasy over him. He could feel his knees start to buckle, his hands moving to grasp Carlos's shoulders for the support he so desperately needed. It was only after Carlos, hand slick with Cecil's precum, brushed a thumb over Cecil's tip did he realize how loud he was being. He quickly placed a hand over his mouth. They were in an apartment, trying to hide their presence, moaning and crying out the name of the man he adored so much as not the best way to do this. The air that rushed in and out of his nose was hot as it fanned over his hand, keeping his noises muffled, his lungs felt like embers threatening to set ablaze with the lack of air. It was worth it if Carlos would never stop what he was doing.

"No." Carlos's voice was heavy with lust and, dare Cecil say it, love as he watched Cecil with his wondrous eyes. He continued to stroke Cecil as his other hand, gingerly, took Cecil's wrist and moved it away from his face.

"It's alright…I want to hear you." His hand moved to the top of Cecil's shirt, unbuttoning the loose light blue night shirt speckled with green dots, revealing his care chest to the cold air. Carlos leaned to Cecil's neck nipping and trailing kisses as he moved from his collar bone to the center of his breast.

"So, please, let me…" he trailed off as he caressed one of Cecil's nipples with his tongue pulling a deep, loud moan from him. It was almost too much for Cecil. It had been so long that they had last been together, and just as long since he had felt the touch of another; his body felt over sensitive under such loving touches. His legs shook, each muscle in his legs struggling to keep him standing. He felt that if something wasn't done soon he was going to collapse into a quivering mess on the floor.

"C-carlos!" He whined, his hand fisted the clothing on Carlos's shoulders attempting to use them as a more stable and reliable anchor.

"I c-can't…I can't…" His words failed him as Carlos licked, sucked, pulled, and twisted the various pleasure points all over Cecil's body.

"Humm?" He hummed back in question, not stopping. Cecil could tell by the glint in his eyes as he watched him, the feel of the smirk on his lips, and unrelenting strokes of his hands, that Carlos was thoroughly enjoying watching him fall apart.

"My legs…I can't…" He managed between panted breathes.

Carlos stopped stroking Cecil, who let out a small choked whimper at the loss of the contact. He moved both hands to Cecil's hips and lifted him up; Cecil instinctively hooking his legs around Carlo's waist settling into a much more comfortable and withstand-able position.

"Better?" All Cecil could manage I response was a nod, feeling to compromised and overwhelmed to think. Carlos grinned and leaned in kissing Cecil. His right hand went back to his throbbing cock, his left holding Cecil up as he steadily rocked into him in time with each of his strokes. The stimulation was too much, and yet not enough all at once. He ached for more, he wanted to ask for more than just the touches and kisses, but found himself unable to form more than Carlos's name on his lips. Instead he let himself melt into the bliss that was Carlos. He explored all that he could of Carlos, his mouth with his own, his hair and the skin with his hands, his back with the lightest touches of his nails. Carlos nibbled, kissed, and sucked at what exposed skin he could find and his lips. Cecil felt his muscles tighten and surge like a tide under Carlos's fingers as he ground against him. Carlos had just bitten down lightly on Cecil's shoulder when the tight coils that had been winding themselves tighter and tighter felt like they were about to come un-done. The pressure built, his whole body seemed to shake as he neared climax as Carlos soothed the skin with his tongue. Carlos moved to his ear, nipping at the lobe gently before whispering words of downfall into Cecil's ears.

"Venirse para mí el amor..." He practically purred the words, whatever he had said sent shiver though his body being the final push he needed to climax as he clutched desperately to Carlos. He cried out Carlos's name, his body ridged. He shook as his seed spilt out splattering between them, Carlos still fisting his member, hand completely covered in cum, he slowed his pace and started to trace a finger around Cecil's foreskin and occasionally rubbing the over-sensitive tip of his cock. He twitched as waves of pleasure and a feeling that it was too much mingled with the wave of his orgasm. Carlos talked sweetly to him in words he did not understand and could barely hear, but enjoyed and basked in. It was once Cecil was soft and limp did Carlos let go of his flaccid member.

He basked in just feeling Carlos close to him. He tightened his legs around his waist, his arms wrapped around him and pull him closer, and gave him a single gentle kiss. They stayed like that for a moment, Cecil's mind slowly coming out of the fog that had encompassed him. It was then that he realized two things. One, that lately he had been letting his mind get lost far too often, and that he should probably fix that. Two, Carlos was still hard and twitching underneath his pants and instead of doing what Carlos asked of him, he instead just let Carlos touch him until he came; without doing much of anything for him.

He was thoroughly embarrassed at himself, letting himself get lost in his own pleasures was not how he was going to repair their relationship at all. It was not how he wanted to show Carlos that he cared. He constricted a bit tighter around Carlos, in a way to apologize, when he felt something smear across his stomach. He leaned back a bit and looked down to see he had spilt all over the front of Carlos's half opened jacket.

"I ruined your suit…" He wanted to apologize, but he couldn't bring himself too, he truly did hate seeing Carlos is such a foreign outfit; much preferring and missing the old garbs of the scientist. He looked up to see Carlos smirking at him behind mused glasses and golden-brown eyes.

"Didn't like it anyway." He let out a light laugh, glad that Carlos felt the same.

"Glad to hear." He smiled, a full happy smile. One he had been missing from his face for a year, one he only made for Carlos. In that moment all the problems of the world, his family, the Desert Bluff's, all of it seemed small and insignificant. He never again wanted to lose this warmth and happiness.

"Cec…" Cecil worried a bit, sensing the strain in his voice. "I…don't think I can hold you up much longer…"

"Oh…" Cecil wasn't entirely sure he would be able to stand his legs still feeling shaky. He was most certainly going to have to work on his leg muscles if Carlos ever planned on doing this again. Cecil absolutely did, except it would include less clothing and some lube. Cecil figured he could at least try.

"Well…give me a moment? My legs are-um!" Cecil was caught a bit off guard as Carlos shifted, moving both hands back to his hips. For a moment he thought Carlos was doing so to let him down, but instead he found himself being pulled closer. Once he was situated Carlos started to carry him towards the bedroom.

"Carlos?" His voice was more of a squeak compared to his normal pitch as he was fairly confused at the actions of the Latino man. "Carlos, what are you doing?" He only continued to move through the door and soon eased Cecil onto the bed. Cecil's legs draped off the side, his torso slightly leaned back, chest still bare, arms propping himself up. Carlos loomed over him, hands resting on his shoulders, face so close that if he moved but an inch his lips would be on Cecil's.

"Just making it easier for us both." He continued to smile, he couldn't help but see a little bit of scolding was in order.

"You could'a hurt yourself."

"But I didn't." Carlos crooked one of the corners of his lips into a knowing smirk. Cecil supposed that would be fine, for now. Instead he opted for putting a small plan into action, to fulfill the request Carlos had made earlier. He reached up and began to unbutton the rest of Carlos's soiled shirt with ease.

"Well, it's all jake then." He finished he leaned forward and licked around the edge of Carlos's ear. He heard Carlos's breath catch in his throat as his fingers fiddled away at the buttons, he kissed him behind his ear trailing down his neck and the shirt was eased open. Carlos's hot breath feathered his own ear in flutters and little gasps, he felt himself starting to stiff again from just the small sounds coming from the wonderful man. Once the shirt was open he moved away from Carlos, a displeased sounds escaping his lips. He reached his hands up, slipping them underneath the clothes, before he pushed them down his shoulders slightly.

"For now, it would be just darb of you to let me relieve you of such confining clothing." Carlos obliged, moving so that as Cecil's hand glid over his skin the jacket and shirt easily fell off his body as Cecil hummed in approval. The shirt now gone, he let his hands trace the sides of Carlos's body, his eyes following they're path. It seemed the past had taken its own toll on him like it had to Cecil. New scars that had long since healed covered his torso, his muscles more reveled then they had been before. Yes, Carlos was still a bigger man competitively to himself, but it still showed that he had spent nights, days, maybe even weeks without so much as the thought of a meal. His eyes narrowed, he didn't care if he did it to himself, he did not matter, but when it came to Carlos it was a different story. His heart stung and ached and twisted at the thought of how much Carlos had been though; how he wanted to never again let him feel as he did, that never again would Cecil be selfish in his own pain. His thoughts were disrupted when he felt himself being pushed back onto the bed, away from the physical scars of the past.

"Later." The low lustful tones back in Carlos's voice as he moved to straddle Cecil. Carlos was again trying to take control of the situation, and though Cecil quite enjoyed it all, it wasn't the best way for Cecil to show him anything except what a quivering mess Carlos could make him. He decided to take action before Carlos could push him back in the cloud of euphoria. He held Carlos's shoulders as he swiftly twisted him to the right, pinning him to the bed on his back, Cecil straddling him. He ground his crotch against Carlos's earning him a deep moan. He repeated himself, happy to finally be the one to cause the pleasure.

"Cecil! I-ah! No, I-" Cecil could feel a grin, evil and cunning, cross his face. Oh the things he wanted to do to this man. The brinks of euphoria he wanted to dance with him at the edges of, teasing and pulling him back so that when they both tipped over, stars would be seen and heaven would be within tangible reach. He continued to grind against him as he leaned down, mimicked as Carlos had earlier with light kisses placed trailed on his chest, Carlos bucking underneath him.

"Cec-il! Ah! P-please!" He kissed and licked the dark skin, his tasted like a salted candy; sweet, tangy, and creating a dark thirst that was hard to quench. Oh yes, what the pleasure he wanted to course though him, he wanted to lick and kiss and touch every inch of his body. To implant with each kiss that, yes, Carlos was indeed perfect and beautiful and yes he did-

He focused on his own body for a moment, his own body brewing a deep warmth in his groin. He was completely erect and wanting again, he smiled into his kisses and decided it was time to rid Carlos of the last pieces of clothing he had. He shuffled a bit, moving down until his face was positioned above Carlos's groin. He easily loosened the belt and pulled the zipper slowly as he watched Carlos, who had now propped himself up on his elbows; carefully, happily, watched Cecil. Feeling a bit uncomfortable with his own pants he finished kicking his off as he worked on the metal contraption on Carlos's. Once the zipper was opened he eased them down to be around his ankles, revealing the underwear he wore and the small spring of his cock being let out of its tight and constrained prison to a slightly more comfortable one. Carlos was in mid sigh when Cecil mouthed Carlos through his briefs, his back arched, hands grabbing fistfuls of the sheets as he choked out a moan.

"Ce-Cecil-!" He felt his own cock twitch, the sound of Carlos moaning his name sent a shiver down him causing the burning between his legs of want to flare. However, he wanted to focus on Carlos, he needed to. He pulled back from the tented bulge in his undergarment and pulled the white fabric down. Once his member was free and to the open air Cecil leaned forward mouth just about to engulf Carlos cock; dark, pulsing, and dripping. Before he could, he felt a hand on his shoulder stopping him, getting him to lean up.

Cecil tried to say something but stammered, utterly confused as to what exactly Carlos was doing. He found himself with not much of a chance to react as Carlos again brought him into a kiss that Cecil was more than happy to melt into. Not paying attention he followed Carlos's lead, leaning up to more of a sitting position, then being guided and pushed down onto the bed. It was when Carlos broke the kiss, holding himself up by his hands, that Cecil got a strange sense of dejavu.

The dream from a week ago flickered in his mind. It wasn't dejavu, per-say, but it was fairly close. He had the same look, the same eyes, the same smile. He deviated, as he moved a hand to touched the side of Cecil's face as he leaned in a bit closer before he spoke.

"Cecil," Cecil's mind struggled to remember what happened next in the dream. It had been important, there had been some reason he woke at that moment, something that in the wake of the dream was almost lost. Try as me might he couldn't quite grasp it. He shortly found he didn't need to, as he could tell what Carlos was trying to say.

"I lo-" Panic filled him and in the mist of what he was saying Cecil clamped both hands over Carlos's mouth. Carlos's eyes went wide in surprise, the fingers of the hand touching his cheek twitched, he could feel the hurt in Carlos's eyes; but he couldn't, he just couldn't. Carlos quickly pushed Cecil's hands away from his face.

"Why?" Cecil's heart tore at the pain he heard in Carlos's voice. "I just…I don't understand."

"I don't want to hurt you." The words slipped out before he could stop them. However, he found he didn't want to stop them; Carlos deserved an honest answer. "I'll only hurt you because I can't speak as freely as you do. I just-" he trailed off, unable to look Carlos in the eyes so he covered his own, and waited for Carlos to leave.

He did not. Instead he felt Carlos shift his weight and a careful touch around his wrists as they were lifted from his face. Those eyes, brilliant and shinning, caught his gaze before he had a chance to look away. He was captivated by the glint of wet at the corner of Carlos's eyes, the way he seemed to be radiant, and a smile that would make anyone weak kneed and swooning. He only realized that he had just pinned his hands above his head when it was too late, when Carlos spoke again.

"I love you." The words washed through him, he felt a churning accompanied with serine calm. There was something in him that seared behind it all, wanting to hear those words again. He couldn't let him though, it was not fair to him. He struggled to pull his hands out from under their captor but remained unable to do so as Carlos kissed his chest and only free hand explored his body.

"I love you so, my dear, sweet, Cecil." Carlos continued between kisses. His hand moving in tiny circles, his skin like fire across abdomen as he slowly continued to travel lower and lower.

"I love how complicated, intriguing, and wonderful you are." Carlos removed his hand from Cecil's stomach. He tried to see what Carlos was doing but soon found himself arching into the lips of the Hispanic man as a tongued and sucked a nipple. He then felt his cock be gently held as Carlos rubbed his own against Cecil's, Carlos wrapping his hand the best he could around to stroke them both. Cecil gasped while bucking forward, his eyes skewed shut. Carlos's onslaught continued, he traveled up the center of Cecil's chest nipping at the exposed skin, nuzzling the curls on his chest, soothing the red marks he made with sweet kisses.

Cecil was panting, his body tingled where Carlos had teased the skin, wave after wave of pleasure wove through him with each thrust, his back lifted off the bed as he dissolved in it all. He felt like an instrument, Carlos the musician, plucking at all the right strings and knowing the perfect touches needed to make him sing.

Carlos descended onto his lips kissing him hard and passionately, the familiar wet muscle from inside finding its way into Cecil's eager mouth. Carlos's hand moved solely to Cecil's shaft, his fingers stroking the tip, trailing over the slit, and running down the underside of his cock. He cried out Carlos's name into their kiss, silenced by those perfect lips, as his lungs seared with a need for air. Carlos then broke the kiss and removed his hand entirely from Cecil's throbbing genital. He pried his eyes open gazing up at Carlos, flecks of light danced among his vision making Carlos look like he was swimming in starlight.

"I love how you are so innocent and pure, raw and cunning, passionate and caring." Cecil felt the pressure on his wrists leave from its pinning position to resuming the palming of Cecil's cock. Carlos first took off his glasses before he leaned over to the dresser. He opened the middle drawer placing his glasses inside and then pulled out a small container of vaseline. He popped off the plastic top of the container with his fingers, the top bounced and fell to the floor, as he stuck his fingers in covering them in the lubricant.

Cecil was already fisting the covers, fingers twitching and tensing at each stroke of Carlos's hand, he whimpered at the thought of what those fingers would do to him once they were inside. Carlos placed the topless container in the drawer as he moved his fingers that had the slick substance to Cecil's entrance and padded it smearing the lubricant. Cecil bucked towards the fingers that played at him but Carlos moved with him, letting his fingers get covered in the sticky stuff but not entering. Carlos watched him, his face un-obscured by his glasses, all his features for Cecil to soak in. Carlos leaned as close as he could, Cecil reached up, one hand entwining his fingers into the luscious black curled locks of Carlos's perfect hair the other found a stead place at Carlos's side.

"Never change mi amado." A single slick finger slipped inside of Cecil. Cecil tightened his grip, pulling Carlos's hair lightly and side as he tried to pull him in deeper.

"Carlos!" He wanted more, he ached for more, he wanted all of Carlos, he wanted to be his and for him to be his; he wanted all of what Carlos had to give. Cecil was about to beg for more as a second finger slipped in and a third when Carlos stole his lips. Carlos continued to work him open, pressing against his walls with his fingers. Cecil felt like he might die from the heavy pleasure, from the words Carlos had been cooing to him, or from the desperate need to have something bigger inside of him. His mind was scattered, furious need taking over his senses and his ability to much else then what he desired.

"More, Carlos…I need-"

"Patience, mi amado." Everything was a blur, his hands exploring, grasping, trying to find something to steady the welling tide in him or to help it push over the edge, he wasn't entirely sure. He could feel himself clenching around Carlos's fingers. He was hot, tight, he was so close but he didn't want to reach that peak like this. He begged again, yearning to be filled, to have more than just the slim digits as he felt close to climax. When he finally withdrew from him he let out a choked whine, moving his hips towards the direction the fingers retreated. Carlos began to position himself, he eased Cecil's legs into the air moving them to be around his waist. He leaned forward and shifted up, Cecil could feel the girth of him press against his slicked and prepped entry.

In the mix of it all, in the rut of desire and want, time suddenly seemed to slow. The thralls of ecstasy ebbed into the background, and for a single moment his mind became clear to absorb all that was before him. Carlos, his face aglow, eyes shining, lips curled in a grin, hair mussed, and body lightly shimming in the light the crept through the door, towered over Cecil. There was a solitary word that crossed his mind, one that though he used it so many times to describe the scientist. He was absolutely perfect and did all he could to burn the image into the lens of his mind's eye. Time started to catch back up, the bliss of it all seeping back into the for-front of Cecil's mind, as Carlos lowered himself till both of their chests were flesh against each other.

"I love you Cecil." Carlos's words were soft as he slowly and carefully pushed himself inside of Cecil. Cecil hissed at the painful stretching of his backend. He wrapped his arms around Carlos, digging his nails in as he did what he could to soften his spazzing muscles that encompassed with the twitching and pulsing member inside of him. Carlos's head was buried in the crook of his neck, kissing and whispering soothing words.

"Relax Cec…I've got you." His arms wiggled underneath Cecil lifting his upper torso pulling him closer, his back now elevated slightly off the bed as he clung desperately to Carlos. It didn't take too long for his muscles to be used to the intrusion, controlling the muscles surrounding Carlos he squeezed and bucked earning his a gasping moan that reverberated against the skin of his neck. 'Sweet merciful gods!' He screamed in his thoughts as he shivered, his manhood twitched between them. He then repeated his actions in hopes that sweet candied sound could be produced again. He was thrilled when he was graced again with the same tones. He toyed with the idea of flipping their positions just so that he could keep making him utter those noises. The thought was lost as Carlos moaned and started to move, pulling almost completely out before slowly sheathing himself back inside of Cecil.

"Oh Cecil…" He repeated his slow and steady thrusts, each one causing Cecil to clench and dig his nails along Carlos's back, legs to tightening and trying to pull him in deeper. He felt agonizingly blissful, filled with sparks and fire that traveled up and down his body, pacing, building. Carlos unwrapped himself from Cecil, placing a hand to steady himself as he cupped the side of Cecil's face, the air mingled hot and moist between them.

"Mi amado, mi corazón…" He dove into Cecil's waiting mouth as he sped up, Cecil wanted him deep, to have all of Carlos, to feel him so far in him that their souls might intertwine together in the mix of it all; so far deep that he would never again forget how profoundly the man could touch him in so many impossible ways.

He tried to lift his legs, finding himself unable to by Carlos's arms; but it was all he had to do for Carlos to notice and understand. He moved and slid his arms hooking underneath the crook of Cecil's knees and lifted his legs up and onto his shoulders. His muscles stretched, somewhat painfully, not used to the position anymore; but he ignored it as Carlos bent his legs closer to his chest as he pounded into Cecil. He howled in pleasure, in ecstasy, in feelings so wondrous and good he wondered if it was truly plausible. Something pure and electric shot through his veins in pulses, his body constricting around Carlos as each one went through him.

"Oh yes! Yes, beautiful, perfect Carlos!" Carlos's thrusts became fevered, Cecil easily taking all that he had to give. Each time he was entered he could feel his prostrate be prodded but the thickness of Carlos's cock, pulling a cry of unbridled ecstasy from him. He rocked in time with Carlos, husky moans and a shaky voice spilled from Carlos's mouth, his heated dark skin covered in sweat.

"Oh god! Cecil!" A hand wiggled its way between them, gripping the length of Cecil's shaft, stroking him erratically. A hot searing feeling, as though an iron plate had been place inside his groin as he started to peak. He was begging, moaning, crying out to the sky that he could not see and the many stars that watched over. Words spilled from him, mingled broken fragments of praise, care, and adoration all for Carlos. All of his own words were lost to himself, a buzz in the background compared to the honey-slick voice tumbling out of the man buried so far in him.

"Cec, oh fuck! I-I love you, my beloved, m-my heart! Ce-Cecil! I'm-ah! I'm going to -ah, Cecil! Cecil!" As Carlos spilt himself inside of Cecil, his pumping and thrusts staggered and sporadic, it wasn't the touches of his hands or the feel of his cock inside of him that pushed Cecil over the edge. As he held tightly to the sweaty body of his lover, he watched his face twist beautifully in the throes of orgasm; his head thrown back, mouth agape, the wail of Cecil's own name ringing in his ears, hair tossed and a mess clung to his face. It was the stunning sight above him and the words spoke from those perfect lips that were the last drop that sent him spill over, spattering both of their stomachs in his own sticky fluid. Cecil hoped that somehow all this might go unnoticed by any possible neighbors they had, for when he came he swore he could hear the walls vibrate in resonance with his voice. If they did, they would most certainly know now that a man by the name of Carlos lived in this apartment. Or, at least on this floor.

In the rolls of his orgasm his skewed his eyes shut, all of his body repeatedly tightening and releasing like laps of a tide. His mouth now hung open soundlessly, all his air expelled from his wail of Carlos's name to the world. Carlos slowly calmed his own thrusts and spasms as he came down from his peak. Cecil regained his breathing as the waves began to subside allowing him again control on his body. He felt fantastic, all his muscles felt worked and relaxed, there was an electrified hazy that wafted its way through his body that was warm and comfortable. He opened his eyes to meet those of amber gazing at him through some lens of wonder and something much deeper; something that Cecil couldn't say. That without the overwhelming passion, he couldn't even think. But he knew he felt the same, he could feel the reverberations in his own soul, the twinge of the same emotions that reflected in those eyes, in that smile, in that voice.

Carlos leaned forward kissing Cecil gently. He kept the kiss, softly massaging Cecil's lips with his own. Cecil was glad to return the kiss, and for a while they stayed like that wrapped in each other, each part that could was touching, holding, caressing in what had been missed for a year.

It was once Carlos had soften and slipped out of Cecil that he relinquished the kiss. He lowered Cecil's legs before rolling over to the side, an arm draped over Cecil's chest. Cecil let himself fall into old normalcy, as he turned and cuddled into Carlos. He did what he could to make sure their stomachs, spattered and wet, had space between each other to keep the mess contained. Carlos however seemed to not care as he wrapped his arms around Cecil and pulled him flesh against him and buried his face into Cecil's hair.

Cecil was only able to, and only wanted to, focus of the feel and heat of Carlos against him. The comforting rise and fall of his chest and the smell of sex in the air. He didn't know how long they lay enveloped in each other, it was long enough for Cecil to reach the threshold of sleep, but it was nothing but bliss. He was slightly startled though when Carlos suddenly spoke.

"We should probably go clean up." Cecil made a noise of agreement, but though the suggestion was true, they both remained unmoved. He didn't want to leave the sanctuary of the arms around him. To enter back into a world that hated them and the feelings they shared. He wanted to remain there, blissfully unaware that anything existed outside of that room; outside of Carlos. It was just a guess from the lack of movement, but he figured Carlos felt the same. He was glad, glad to know his leave was not of his own choice, and that at the end of it all he still cared the same. Words were one thing, but what Cecil trusted was touch and any lingering doubt was now gone from his mind in what had transpired that night so long ago. Maybe once they had talked all the problems out, had worked on fixing the broken pieces of their relationship, maybe things could go back to how they were before. The before the Cecil so desperately missed. The urge to speak welled in him, he wanted to tell Carlos that, that he missed him. When he finally spoke it came slightly choked out, his honestly hard won when it came to the man, but he was glad he could at least say it.

"I missed you Carlos." Carlos tightened his arms around Cecil protectively.

"Me too Cecil." Again a silence fell. It was not uncomfortable, and it was not truly silence. They both lay there wrapped in a language of only their own. They told each other of the worries, the long nights, and the endless pain that it was to be away from the other; with promises and hopes of a better tomorrow.

The bed was empty when he woke. He knew it hadn't been out for long since the dark of night still covered the window. He could feel the cold, crusted mess on his stomach from earlier; Cecil hoping that he didn't again somehow make the whole thing up in his head. He sat up and glanced around the room, reassured when his eyes feel on the figure of Carlos in the darkly lit room. He was standing at the closet, a small brown box in hand.

"Carlos, everything jake?" He stood, tentatively walking over beside Carlos, peering around him to see what he was looking at in the box. The box was one Cecil had seen in the closet days ago, but had not though to open; out of respect and because it had been taped shut. In the box though was a bundle of white denim like fabric, he had seen Carlos wear it enough to know exactly what it was. His heart cringed, he didn't know what the Hispanic man was mulling over, but he hurt knowing the implications and past that small item of clothing harbored.

"I…I don't know Cecil."

"Maybe…for now, it's best to leave the past, in the past." He couldn't stand to let Carlos purposely hurt himself. So, Cecil reached out putting a hand on the back of the lid Carlos held tilted over the opening of the box, pushing down trying to close it.

"No!" Carlos cried out, clutching the box close to him, taking a step back from Cecil, with an expression of shock and desperateness. His eyes met Cecil's, and Cecil watched him change yet again his expression turning to that of shame.

"S-sorry…You are absolutely right Cecil…" However he continued to hover the lid over the top of the box, watching the old lab coat longingly. Cecil just wished there were some words of comfort he could give to him. With a loss of what to say he desperately searched for something to say when he stumbled upon the idea that for Carlos, maybe memories of the past are what he needed.

"Which one is it?"

"Huh?" Carlos looked a bit started as he glance up at Cecil, maybe unsure of what Cecil said or what Cecil meant.

"The coat, which one did you keep?" Carlos, oddly, smiled fondly at Cecil. He reached into the box pulling out the coat and after placing the box and lid on the ground, held up the coat for Cecil to see.

It was not just because most, if not all, the lab coats Carlos had owned were a white thick fabric, that he recognized it. No, he knew this one intimately. Along the left breast area of the coat was an embroidery of Carlos's name scrawled in black thread above a bad rendition in small sequins the seal of the Night Vale Family. He knew this coat, for it was not only the one he gave to Carlos, but he had been the one to embroider the small emblem as well upon it; though the last part he still had never told Carlos about. Cecil reached out grasping the fabric, completely floored that out of everything he kept this. It had struck him odd that all his walls, counters, every bit of the apartment lacked all of what he expected for Carlos to have. For him to find that Carlos kept this one treasure as the only remaining artifact of his old life in the entire apartment near brought him to tears. Carlos let him take it as he brought it close to him, carefully holding the fabric as though it was woven glass, hand lightly touching the amateur work of the seal.

"You kept it?"

Carlos simply nodded. Cecil felt like pinching himself. He must have been dreaming. Out of all his lab notes, pictures of family, research ideas, lab equipment, paintings of home, everything that he could kept from his old place he had kept this simple, badly embroidered, lab coat.

"Why?" He looked back up to Carlos who only held a gaze with the box on the floor.

"Though, a scientists never forgets…I still wanted to keep it, for…" Carlos cleared his throat and shifted nervously before he continued. "for, you know, uh, science.." His voice seemed jittery and fractured the more he spoke.

"In the off chance I might ever forget or, that at the end of all this, if I ever got a new lab; something of the like." Carlos moved a hand to the back of his head, running his hands through the curled locks.

"But, well, maybe it was silly. No, i-it was silly." He looked downtrodden and forlorn; seeming ashamed that he had kept it. Cecil felt as though some odd animal had come to sit in his chest, the muscles contorting painfully, pushing out. He felt a deep anguish at the sight of Carlos before him. He wanted to show Carlos that there were far more important things to regret then what feelings or memories he might see in the keepsake.

"Think it will still fit?" He took a step towards Carlos, holding out the coat.

"W-um…I suppose it should." Confusion befell his features, at the same time the tight strain loosened in Cecil's chest

"Wouldn't hurt to give it a try?" He held out the coat, as Carlos watched him with curiosity. His hand trembled as he took the cloth from Cecil.

"I don't believe it would…" He slowly put the Coat over his shoulders, slipping his arms into the slightly too large sleeves. It didn't fit as snug as it had before, but seeing it on Carlos he seemed perfect and right in it. To see him naked and gloriously back in the coat brought a flush to his face. He own feelings were soon lost, as the look of Carlos's face contorted into /

Carlos traced lines over his coat with a hand, following invisible lines that merged into the lines of the old scars on his chest. His eyes told Cecil he was there in the room with him, and yet he was not. That half of him was off in some far distant memory or place; maybe miles or years away in the past. This was not what Cecil wanted, he wanted to remind him of the times they both had, of things that were pleasant and filled with happy bliss. Without thinking, he closed the space between them, grasping his wrist. He found himself speaking before he could even think to stop, or to filter.

"No." Some untold strength welled in him. "Do not let them tarnish this. They can only break what you give them; don't give them this. Don't give them what we had." He spoke the last few words slow and pointedly, trying to push his emotions into each word. Carlos peered at him, stoic as he mouth silently. He could feel a sudden push in the back of his throat, in his vocal cords. He could feel that his words weren't right, that there was a need to correct them. He pushed the words out, they were even and sweet in tone and each one was true.

"What we still have…" Carlos's eyes went wide, all movements of the scientist ceased as he froze.

He at first panicked, unsure of what Carlos was now feeling, his expression a mix of too many emotions to tell. The creature in his chest churned painfully. He wanted to do something, to pull Carlos completely away from his remembered torment, and show him what beauty remained. That despite the cracks and chips of their relationship it was still breathtaking, if not more stunning and alluring for them. Only time would tell, only nights and days spent together to overlay and remove the times alone, only if they walked hand in hand together through the troubled and dangerous future would they ever know. Cecil wanted to try, and with the last few hours he spent with Carlos he assumed he would as well he just needed a little reminding.

He pulled gently on Carlos's wrist as he smoothly slipped his other hand around Carlos's waist. He closed the distance and stole a kiss from the frozen lips of the scientist. It took a moment before Cecil felt the twitch of lips against his, hands moving to his body, and soon the deep return of the kiss. He wanted more. Hungry to taste, feel, and please all of Carlos. He trailed his tongue across the thin ledge of Carlos's lips, he felt him shutter in his arms as he gladly opened and allowed him in. As their tongues touched and caressed, he lead Carlos back to the bed. He wanted to fill his promise, he wanted to instill in him all of the better times that the anguish let him forget. Once they reached the bed Cecil moved his hand to Carlos's chest, gently urging him to lay down; but instead he felt Carlos steady himself and break their kiss.

"Wait." Again, panic wriggled though him as he could not read him. The mix of so much, all at once, it made Cecil feel like he was staring at a bucket filed with each color he could imagine swirled together; beautiful in its layered mix but unknown in true color.

"I should...We should put the coat away first." Relieved, Cecil smiled.

"Oh, sweet, dear Carlos." He moved to Carlos's ear and nibbled at the lobe, earning him a small gasp and the clench of fingers. He pulled away looking back into amber-bronze eyes. "It's right where it belongs."

He resumed the kiss and again gently pushed Carlos on his chest, this time the scientist easily went to clambering onto the bed as Cecil followed; the kiss tying them together. Soon Carlos was on his back underneath Cecil. Carlos's thick erection throbbing against Cecil's thigh, Cecil's laying twitching on Carlos's stomach as he towered over him kissing, touching, licking, and nipping every bit of sensitive skin he could find. Carlos twisted and squirmed under the attention as he pushed his hips repeatedly against Cecil. Cecil grinned as he listened to the symphony that came from his mouth, a song of moans and whimpers and small cries of his name as he begged for more. It was once he could no longer take it himself that he stopped and reached out to find the discarded container he now desperately needed. With the glob of sticky lube he moved to lift one of Carlos's legs. He positioned his hand just outside of Carlos's entrance smearing the lube on the tender flesh, slicking his fingers with it as he probed at puckered hole.

"Cecil!" His back arched as Cecil slowly pushed a finger in, watching Carlos to see when it was okay to move and when he was ready for more. He could feel that it had been a long, long time since Carlos had given any attention to this part of him. He could feel the muscles quiver around his finger as he began to move the digit in and out slowly. When he felt the flesh relax around him, he carefully slipped in a second finger; Carlos winced and gave a choked gasp at the new intrusion.

As Cecil let Carlos adjust to the new addition, he grasped his erection, plodding each stroke as his fingers worked him. Carlos's eyes fluttered as he gripped at the sheets, his hips moving to meet Cecil's fingers each time he moved them back into Carlos's warmth. Cecil wanted to overload him in his senses, to make him lost and incoherent as he had done to him. He pushed against his walls, stretching him gradually with each movement, he wiggled down till his mouth hovered over Carlos's cock. He watched Carlos through his bangs as he lowered his mouth onto Carlos's tip. He could taste the salt of his pre-cum fill his mouth as he sucked on the tip and his tongue traveled along the slit.

"Oh god, Cecil!" Cecil watched him as he continued to suck and stroke him; his eyes shut, face in perfect felicity, body twitching and clenching with each new sensation. He felt a hand entangle itself into his hair. The hand pulled with each stroke and thrust, fingers fisting with each lick and trail of his wet tongue. He could feel him loosen around his fingers as he relaxed into ecstasy. Cecil, after pulling the foreskin down, let all of his mouth tightly engulf Carlos's head as he pushed deeper into Carlos. Carlos's hand attempted to push Cecil further down his shaft as he nearly screamed Cecil's name.

He slid in another digit, making Carlos sputter and whimper. He found he could push in deeper and started to search for the inner bundle of nerves that lay deeper in. As he did he ran his tongue down the length of Carlos's cock, a small string of incoherent words were stammered as he could feel nails dig lightly into his scalp. It was only after he was able to slip a fourth finger in did he hit the sweet spot within Carlos.

"Fuck! Cecil!" He cried, he whimpered, he moaned and gasped and begged to cum as Cecil continued to hit his prostate repeatedly.

"Ce-Cecil!" He could feel that Carlos was close, his body movements erratic and fevered dancing on the brink of the most wonderful of releases. But that's not how he wanted him to finish. Cecil pulled his fingers out and released the dripping member, Carlos near weeping at the loss of it all. He sat back up, moving to be over Carlos. He situated himself and using the hand slick with lube gave himself a few strokes before he positioned at Carlos's entry. Before he pushed any further he took a moment to soak in the image before him. Carlos, his lab coat framing him in a stark white against his dark skin, body glistened like a thousand stars, head laid back on the pillow his hair sprayed around him, warm eyes half lidded, chest rising and falling from his panted breath. He was absolutely perfect. Cecil thought of how he belonged like this, how he always had; this was how his Carlos always was, and always should be.

"Carlos," He could feel a welling of words in him again, but he wanted. Instead he grabbed Carlos's hips, holding him steady as he started to slowly ease into him. Carlos sucked in air, the hiss of wind between his perfect teeth, as Cecil filled him. Soon he could feel Carlos start to relax he leaned closer to him, a hand moving to one of the clenched hands of the Hispanic man. Once his hand touched his Carlos flipped his hand and quickly entangled their fingers, a small affectionate hum reverberated from deep within him. He guided their hands to the side of Carlos's head as he gave Carlos a light kiss. Now he was ready.

"Sweet, wonderful Carlos." He purred, "You are also right where you belong." With that he started his deliberate rhythmic movements in and out of Carlos; agonizingly slow. He felt his own cock being near painfully constricted by the muscles inside of Carlos and when fully seated inside he couldn't tell where he ended and Carlos began.

"You are perfect, smart, and cunning. Nothing anyone could do would ever change that." He could feel Carlos's muscles relax more and more around him, eventually Carlos began to again buck his hips in time with Cecil's thrusts. He sped up his thrusts into Carlos who ushered out a cry as he threw his head back against the pillow.

"You are perfect because of who you are, and you are beautiful because of what you do." Keeping his drive into Carlos at a steady pace he snuck in a kiss from the gasping man, the wet muscle of his tongue briefly dancing with Carlos's before he pulled away leaving Carlos objecting at the shortness of it.

"Don't ever forget that, perfect, beautiful Carlos. Not again, not ever." He then pounded into Carlos, making sure to brush against the area that he had found earlier with his fingers.

"Cecil! Oh mierda, Cecil!" His hand squeezed Cecil's, his hips bucking, head thrown to the side, eyes shut. Cecil trained kisses down the exposed part of his neck as he pushed into him harder and deeper. The sucking and pulling of the muscles in Carlos sent ripples through his whole body. With each re-sheathing inside of Carlos he could feel the hot iron coil pull tighter as it sat right above his groin.

"I love-Oh God, te amo Cecil! No te detengas, por favor no te detengas!" He wanted to be further into him, to feel more of him if he could. He grasped one of Carlos's legs and lifted it over his shoulder while using his free hand to guide Carlos to roll more onto his side. Once situated he slammed back into Carlos's heat, again Carlos howled at the sudden burst of deep pleasure.

"Cecil! Una vez más, por favor Cecil! Oh dios, ¡Te quiero!"

Cecil shivered from the begging and pleading tones laced in the sticky caramel voice of Carlos. Oh the things that voice did to him when he was the reason it fell apart. He could feel he was close to cuming and unwrapped his hand from Carlos's as he reached between his legs and palmed him in time with each thrust into him. Bending over Carlos, doing what he could to not over stretch the leg he now held steady and in the air with his other hand, he bit the soft flesh oh his shoulder; kneading and sucking at the spot encompassed with his mouth. He was about to sooth the skin with his tongue when a hand touched the side of his face guiding him to Carlos's lips.

"I love you Cecil." Cecil couldn't reply for his lips were entrapped with Carlos's, hot breath shared between their mouths, moans vibrated in each other's throats. Soon Cecil pulled away from the kiss crying out his name as he came inside of Carlos, his own name not far behind as his hand was splattered with a thick, wet, and warm substance. He continued to pump Carlos and move inside him, his thrust erratic and uncontrolled as pure waves of pleasure ripped through him. He stole the lips of the mewling Carlos as he did, sinking into the indescribable and wonderful feelings of causing Carlos to feel such utter heights.

It didn't take long before the swells of his orgasm slowed, the relaxed feeling of afterglow setting in that Cecil let go of Carlos's leg and semi-flaccid member. Carlos rolled onto his back, watching him under heavy breaths as Cecil tried to steady his own. Carlos again was radiant and still perfect underneath him, both arms lay above him, his chest bare between the flaps of the coat, some stray hairs fell in his face. Cecil went to move the strands out of his face, but then realized how gummy his hand felt. He glanced over the side of the bed, finding the closest piece of discarded clothing and quickly whipping them both off as best as he could. Once done he dropped the gross and soiled piece back to the ground before situating himself beside Carlos.

They both again entangled in each other as Cecil felt a heavy need for sleep wash over him. With the closed and even breathing of Carlos Cecil suspected that for now all words had been said, all hidden meanings received, and it was time for some well-deserved rest for them both; hopefully a little more free of any nightmares that might be creeping in the dark for either of them.

Again he was awoken by the fresh hot smell of dark roasted beans, but this time it mingled with a mix of sex and sweat. He turned over in the bed, bringing the blanket around him closer as he tried to seep back into the dreamless black bliss he had been in.

It took him a few moments to realize that the bed should not be this cold, or this empty. He panicked and sprung out of bed tossing the covers back and bolted to the bedroom door. He knew that there were things that still needed to be worked out, problems that still hung in the air. However they had just had the most amazing of nights together, but it had never occurred to him till the moment he felt how empty the bed was that even with it he still might wake up to an empty apartment; in the end having ultimately mucked up things beyond repair. He burst into the living room, praying to whatever might be watching above that Carlos would still be in the room, in the apartment, just still there in some shape or form.

"Carlos!" He cried as he stumbled into the room, franticly glancing around. He let out a sign of relief when he say the lab coat wearing, very naked, and incredibly confused Carlos standing in the kitchen with a mug in hand.

"Cecil?" He asked tentatively, blinking a great many times, seeming scared as to what might follow and bewildered at the panicked actions.

"Gods above! I thought you had left!" He rubbed his face with both of his hands, trying to release the excess energy from the adrenaline pumping its way through his body.

"Oh…" A mix of shock and understanding evident in his tones. "No. Not yet." Cecil removed his hands from his face and moved towards the kitchen as he spoke.

"I'm very relieved to hear that." He felt a little more under control but the panic still remained. He searched his mind, maybe there was something else causing it? It didn't take long for his mind to settle back to all of the unspoken problems that still lay between them. As much as he had needed to be with Carlos intimately, as much as he wanted the sex and as much as he enjoyed it, it fixed none of the problems. He was grateful for one thing, it got Carlos to stay until he woke up. Once in the kitchen he searched for a mug as he desperately wanted the hot bitter liquid sitting in the coffee pot. As he poured a cup he could see Carlos shift nervously in the corner of his eye. Whatever needed to be said had to wait, the grog of sleep and fever of adrenaline was just too much for him at the moment. He forwent the sugar or cream and immediately took a swig, the bitter liquid searing his tongue and the pain helping his mind to focus on something else then the awkward feeling that had been creeping between them.

"Cecil…" He was glad Carlos was taking the lead for the conversation, he didn't know if he could; afraid that he would just make it all worse. "We need to-"

There were three knocks in succession that came from the door. Suddenly everything else washed away, he tensed and gripped the coffee cup as through it might be his only weapon; the scorching liquid burning his hands through the mug went un-noticed. His eyes fixated on its wooden frame, his mind quieted trying to think of all the places in the kitchen there might be knives or other objects that would be used as a weapon; anything to protect them from what person may be behind the door. His body flinched when something suddenly obstructed his view of the malicious wooden barrier. It took him a moment to realize that the object was Carlos, moving swiftly to it. He reached out a hand, wanting to pull him back but he found himself sluggish and slow comparatively. His heart near stopped when Carlos reached the door, only to instead of opening the door he bent down, picking up a single simple white letter that had been pushed under.

He was still in alarm, unsure of what had just transpired. He latched his hand back to the one thing he had control over for the moment as he felt the heat radiate from the cup. He watched as Carlos's face filled with worry as he opened and read the letter. Every muscle in his body went still, tight and unmoving, awaiting some horrible news or a bomb to suddenly go off. Something, anything, that could alleviate the tension that ghosted the air. His eyes left the page, and then he turned to Cecil, his strong features swirled with regret and worry.

"I have to be going Cecil," He folded the letter up as he walked back to the kitchen. "and there is something of great importance I need to speak to you about." He could feel the tension start to ebb away, only to be replaced with a reflection of Carlos's emotions.

"Where are you going?" His head jerked to look as Cecil, emotions of confusion then understanding could be seen on his face in quick succession.

"Oh- The letter, yes, well" his voice turned to something darker, bubbling hate peered out from underneath each word. "it seems my men were notified that the Bluffs have requested my presence; immediately, or some incentive will be given." His hands started to shake as his grip tried to squeeze any possible life out of his mug. Cecil was at a loss of what to do, his ability to console the scientist frayed by the sudden stirrings of panic from before. He let his body go into auto pilot as he reached out placing a hand on one of Carlos's. The shaking immediately stopped, his eyes no longer seeped into the past. He said all that he could manage.

"Just be careful Carlos." He upturned his hand to hold Cecil's.

"I will Cecil. I'll be just fine, a Scientist is always fine." He grinned a full and perfect grin, and Cecil couldn't help but believe him.

"Then, when you come home, we will talk. I'll make some food, or something, so be sure to come hungry." Carlos nodded.

"I look forward to it." He released his hand and briskly moved into the bedroom.

It wasn't long before Carlos was out of his lab coat and back into a clean set of the despised suit he seemed forced to wear. He left with a hopeful good bye to Cecil, who was now again left to be alone and trapped in the small apartment. But he was happy, for me knew Carlos would return, he would come back, and they would finally talk.

Hours passed by, he took a shower and climbed into clean clothes. He played with the cotton balls, fast becoming a favorite to pass the time. I grew closer to dark and so he started dinner, figuring that he would return soon after the sun went down. It didn't take long for him to finish the food, or for the last picks of light to leave the windows, or for the food to slowly grow cold. He waited, the food becoming long forgotten as minutes turned into more long waited hours. Eventually it became past midnight, then near day break, and still there was no sign of Carlos.

Notes: "Cum for me love…"  
"Never change my beloved."  
"Patience, my beloved."  
"My beloved, my heart…"  
"Cecil! Oh shit, Cecil!"  
"I love- Oh god, I love you Cecil! Don't stop, please don't stop!"  
"Cecil! Again, please Cecil! Oh god, I love you!"


	3. Chapter 3: Anecdotes of a Scientist

From Dawn to Dusk

By Eule Vix

Disclaimer: I do not own Welcome to Night Vale and I do not make money off this story.

Chapter 3: Anecdotes of a Scientist

**Test Coordinator: Carlos Ramirez**

**Subject: Cecil G. P. Night-Vale.**

**DOB: unknown**

**Ethnicity: not completely sure**

**Theory: Cecil wishes to prove his adoration though physical stimuli.**

**Hypothesis: Stimuli will warrant no reactions from the subject, or in the chance previous assumptions prove to be inaccurate, possibly some reaction within 5 to 10 minutes.**

**Current State: After test was initiated…he was moaning, quivering, and crying my name at the slightest of touches; in the sweetest voice.**

**Test Results: Immediate reaction, compete success.**

**Success.**

**The idea of the word echoed in his mind. It had been all the proof he needed for the moment. Before doing much to Cecil he was already open mouthed and gasping; it was more than he had even hoped for, he had been so very sure that Cecil hated him. That Cecil had rejected him. That his emotion were once sided and that the grogged cries of his own name he had heard that sleepless night were just to spite him; just to put salt in a wound he wanted to heal but knew never would.**

**He had been wrong, and he had never been more glad to be wrong.**

**His name, a moan, a cry for more; it was all he needed now. This now, in this moment, the pain didn't matter. The loss of before, the destruction of so much, the forced choices were nothing compared to the fact that there was still a shimmering sliver of hope that still resided in the capo; no matter how carnal or small it might be Carlos wanted to gasp it, never letting go. He forgot the alarms in his head, warning him that this might be too fast, that he might be making a mistake, that he would be just hurting himself again. Instead he plunged into the serenity that was Cecil. He ignored his own body and it's pained wants, the harsh grind of the zipper against himself. All that mattered was Cecil, making him say his name over and over, hearing bated breaths he thought would only be experienced in his dreams the rare times he did sleep.**

**He wanted to dive into the world that was just Cecil. That was just Cecil and him together. Where all else fell away, where his lab was still intact.**

**Where he was still happy; even for just one night.**


End file.
